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8-Year-Old New Mexico Girl Was Found LOCKED In A Wooden Cage!


Oh heckz no!

New Mexico natives, Cindy Patriarchias and Edmond Gonzales locked an 8-year-old girl that suffers from microcephaly in a wooden cage last Friday, while they went out to watch a movie.

Miz Patriarchias and Gonzales took her three kids to watch the flick at the children's school, and when the craaazy woman's estranged hubby found out that his daughter was left at home alone, he immediately called police.

Once the cops arrived at Cindy's residence, they waited for her to get home, and when she did, they found the poor little kid sealed in a wooden cage that was about 2 1/2 feet wide and 4 feet tall.

The good news is that the girl appeared to be fine, but considering that she was caged up like an animal, she was taken into custody by the state's child-protection agency shortly after.

Both Cindy and Edmond were charged with child abuse and are being held with $25,000 cash-only bonds.

Want more details on this wacky occurrence?!? Watch the video (above)!

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Smucker's Uncrustables At Schools Gets A TOTAL RECALL

Filed under: HealthSchool

PB & NAY!!!

Schools around the country are being told by government officials to check their lunches to see if they have Smucker's Uncrustables sandwiches that might contain peanut butter made by a company that is being recalled because of potential salmonella contamination.

Even though all of the peanut butter was tested before it was released to the public, company officials are still telling schools to recall all of their peanut butter because

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He Did It! Skydiver Felix Baumgartner Successfully Free-Falls From The Edge Of Space!

History has been MADE, folks!

After his initial attempt Tuesday was ruined to adverse weather conditions, skydiver Felix Baumgartner has officially become the first person to successfully free fall from "the edge of space," having jumped out of a balloon 128,000 feet above New Mexico…AKA 24 miles up into the atmosphere!

Wearing

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Dog Is The Only Cop In Town?

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueDog

A drug sniffing dog named Nikka is the only certified police member in the town of Vaughn in New Mexico after the police chef resigned.

The police chef Ernest "Chris" Armijo resigned after rumors spread that he wasn't allowed to carry a gun because of his political background.

Here's what a resident said:

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Minka Kelly: Underage Sex Tape Starlet?!

Filed under: Film FlickersLegal Matters

minka-kelly-sex-tape-scandal.jpg

Oh Minka! Ohohoh Minka!!

It seems fallen angel and future Ms. Jackie Onassis Minka Kelly is the newest star erotically dazzling in an unreleased sexy-time tape!

Sources who have reportedly watched 30 min vid say it features a much younger Minka with an ex-boyfriend, and was shot semi-professional style in New Mexico sometime in the late ‘90s.

Apparently, Minka is very aware of the camera, and both participants can watch the sexual chemistry they create via a TV monitor hooked up to the camera.

Saucy!

The tape is currently

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Breaking Bad Tour Shows You Where To Buy Meth!

Filed under: TV NewsSilly!PerezTV

Ha!

Ok, so NO, the Breaking Bad location tour doesn't actually take you on a New Mexico meth-hunt, but it does take eager participants on a 3+ hour tour of some of the show's famed locations!

The critically acclaimed, beast of a masterpiece that is Breaking Bad films a majority of its key plot-points on location in Albuquerque, New Mexico…

So a savvy, Albuquerque-based trolley company has created a rolling adventure where fans can check out iconic locals including the street corner where Combo was shot and Jesse Pinkman's house!

Take a visual peek of the BAD tour (above)!

Now, if we pay extra, can we get Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston to give us a personal tour?

We know we stashed some extra cash under the floor-boards somewhere…

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New Mexico Mom Jailed For Twilight Obsession

Taylor Lautner And RPatz

This New Mexico Mom is Twi-Harder than all the rest!

Waiting in line all night for tickets to Breaking Dawn: Part 2?

Pshhht! Child's play!

If you really cared about Team Jacob or Team Edward, you'd do time for them!

Lori Teel spent a night in an Albuquerque jail earlier this month because she refused to part ways with her public library copy of Twilight!

Well, Lori actually claims she never checked it out in the first place!

Still, she was ordered to appear in court to resolve issue over $35.98 in owed late fees and she never

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