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Charlie Sheen Wants To Be Lindsay Lohan's MENTOR! Discusses "Kinship" With Troubled Starlet!

charlie lindsay mentor

Hey!

Now that Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin have said good-bye to 30 Rock, we guess it's time for a new Liz Lemon/Jack Donaghy-esque mentorship!

Even if this one ends up saturated in freckles, booze and tiger blood!

As we all know by now, it appears that Charlie Sheen has taken a liking to his Scary Movie 5 co-star Lindsay Lohan, as he's not only gifted her $100,000 to cover her troubles with the IRS, but offered to pay for her amfAR Gala gown and given her work as a guest star on his FX series Anger Management!

Given their long list of well-documented personal and legal troubles, it's no surprise that these two can relate to each other, but now, the MaSheen is hoping to take their relationship one step further…by offering to be the hard-pAArtying starlet's MENTOR, in order to guide her back into a professionally successful and ideally-drama-free lifestyle!

He says:

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Simon Cowell: Katy Perry & John Mayer Would Be 'Brilliant' To Replace Britney & L.A. Reid On X Factor!

Filed under: Love LineJohn MayerSimon CowellKaty PerryNeYoCheryl ColeX Factor

simon cowell wants john mayer katy perry x factor judges(1)

With Britney Spears and L.A. Reid not returning for X Factor’s season three, their seats at the judges’ table are now waiting to be filled!

Out of the countless number of celebs to choose from, just who does XF head honcho, Simon Cowell, have in mind??

Musical lovebirds John Mayer and Katy Perry!

Wait… we thought it’s never a good idea to date a coworker! LOLz!

Reportedly, Simon has already put a $20 million offer on the table for them to team up to join the show!!

A source revealed:

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Rob Gronkowski Offered A TON Of Cash To Make A Porno!!

Filed under: Business BlitzFootballSex

rob gronkowski patriots porn offer football lolz millions sex porno

You'd be hard pressed to find someone out there that wouldn't watch Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski in a full-on porno. We're sure there are a LOT of jokes about him being a tight-end, too. Probably some pretty funny ones. We'll take the high road, thanks! LOLz!!

Anyway, Rob was offered more money than we would expect to get his freak on in just one porn scene — we're talking $3.75 million! Holy shizz!!

The weird part about this is

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Kris Humphries' Family Is On Team Kim! They Want Him To DROP Divorce Vendetta!

kris-humphries-family-want-him-to-settle-kim-kardashian-divorce

Not gonna lie!

We were over this nonsense the minute their divorce proceedings went on longer than their actual marriage!

But yes, the legal battle between Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian is STILL raging on, despite the reality starlet already becoming impregnated by her new man Kanye West, and according to sources close to the NBA star, his family is JUST as frustrated with him for dragging the process out by refusing to take her $10 million settlement offer and demanding she admit their entire union was a fraud so he can have it annulled!

Apparently, the main problem the Humphries clan is having with Kris is based on

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Lindsay Lohan Poops All Over Big Buck$$$ Dancing With The Stars Offer!

Aww, but Lilo has enviable dancing skillz!!

Have you SEEN her writhe around a stripper pole in I Know Who Killed Me?!

Sorry America, but it seems you won't be witnessing Miss Lindsay Lohan cha-cha-ing or sashaying on a ballroom stage anytime soon…

Cause Our Lady of Perpetual Chaos has reportedly DENIED a major offer to appear on next season's Dancing With The Stars!

The Wanted's main boo apparently turned down a $550,000 deal from the popular reality series because she has NO interest in being on TV — unless of course it's on the Lifetime Network! — as she would rather stick to making movies.

Unfortunately now that news of her diva-esque behavior on set of The Canyons is public knowledge, Lilo probably wont be getting tons of film offers any time soon either …

And doesn't one need a JOB if one intends to pay off mountains of billz?

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Kim Kardashian & Kanye West NOT Selling Baby Pics To Highest Bidder… YET!

Color us shockinged pink!!

It seems that lover-of-the-lens Kim Kardashian and her baby daddy Kanye West have rejected a big-bucks offer from an international tabloid for pictures of their newborn babe!!

The gossip mag is reportedly willing to dish out $3 million for the snaps, but Kimye is NOT trying to sell images of their future child…

At least not YET!

The business-savvy coupling are allegedly holding out because they know offers will only increase over time!

And seeing as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got a cool $6 million for pictures of THEIR baby, then obviously Yeezy and Kimmy will accept no less.

Hey, they gotta set up that college fund SOMEHOW.

LOLz!

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

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Lindsay Lohan Pimping Herself As Party Guest?!

Wanna impress friends and upset parents? Have a sh*t ton of cash on hand? Then you should purchase your very own Lindsay Lohan party guest! Party favors not included… LOLz!

Fiery-haired child of chaos AKA Lindsay Lohan is SO desperate for money, it seems she has decided to pimp herself out as a party guest for big bucks.

Partying does seem to come so naturally to Lilo, perhaps being a professional party goer is Lindsay's true calling!

Talent agency 123Talent claims to represent the Liz & Dick star and has reportedly sent a pitch e-mail to the NY Post, offering Lilo up for events such as weddings, Bat Mitzvahs, and other various social engagements.

The e-mail allegedly states:

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