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Sweden Decriminalizes Public Masturbation After An Old Dude Fondles His One-Eyed Skarsgård At Beach!

sweden decriminalizes public masturbation abba alexander skarsgard sexy beach fun

Stockholm Syndrome just got a whole lot weirder!

A 65-year-old horn-ball was charged with sexual assault recently after unsheathing his Pippi Longstocking at a Swedish beach and stroking her in public; sadly, this isn't the shocking part of this story.

He was arrested and charged with sexual assault, but the courts actually ended up acquitting the dude! They ruled the man committed no actual offense because his "activities" weren't directed toward any particular target!

Uh… So, they're saying it's okay stab-a your ABBA in public, but only if you aren't checking out the girl next to you with the dragon tattoo!?

Prosecutor Olof Vrethammar agrees with the verdict. He admitted:

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