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Lindsa Lohan "Freaked Out" About Going To Jail

Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal Matters

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Well, in all honesty, who WOULDN'T be freaked out by the thought of having to go to jail?

It's a legitimate fear for Lindsay Lohan though because she's been telling close friends and family that she's "fearful" that Judge Stephanie Sautner will send her back to jail.

As we all know by now, Lindsay is due back in court November 2 to determine whether or not she violated terms of her probation and has been ordered to do community service at the morgue.

A source says:

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Ellen To Produce New NBC Comedy Starring Portia!

Filed under: TV NewsEllen DeGeneres

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She's keeping her lady employed! How sweet!

NBC has officially picked up a new comedy pilot from Ellen DeGeneres' production company, which is set to star her wife, Portia de Rossi!

Currently untitled, the project will be written by Samantha Who's Don Todd, while being executive produced by Ellen, and the story focuses on the lives of two warring sisters!

Nice!

We're just excited to see Portia back doing series comedy!

That's where she really shines!

Can't wait to check this one out!

[Image via WENN.]

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Marines Not Allowed To Fart In Afghanistan!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

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Squeeze them buttocks, soldiers!

Marines have been told that they are not allowed to audibly fart in Afghanistan because it offends the Afghan people.

There are several things that Marines are told to stay away from, such as cussing, talking politics, religion, and basically anything concerning females. But farting is really pushing it. Ahem.

We guess it's best if you stay away from those extremely gassy foods.

And next time you feel an air biscuit coming on, just hold it in until you're in the privacy of your own barracks.

[Image via WENN.]

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NY Housewife Sonja Morgan Accused Of Fraudulent Conduct, Owes $7 Million!

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What's the pecking order looking like now, huh Sonja??

Real Housewives of New York star Sonja Morgan has been accused of "fraudulent conduct" by Hannibal Pictures, after she pulled out of financing for a movie called, ahem, Fast Flash to Bang Time.

Hannibal claims that she and her company, Sonja Productions, are personally liable for backing out of their agreement. They add:

"The masks are falling and there is no longer any doubt that we were defrauded and severely damaged. We are now going to collect to the fullest extent of the law."

Ouch!

Sonja says that she had to file for bankruptcy back in November 2010 and that the movie never happened because its star, John Travolta, (yes) needed "various conditions" that her compay couldn't provide.

LOL, what??

A judge unfortunately didn't see it Sonja's way and has ordered her to pay Hannibal $7 million.

That's a lot of dough, Sonja! Maybe a little less partying and a little more "working," can solve these problems.

Whatever happened to that toaster oven cookbook, anyway??

[Image via WENN.]

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HBO Orders Political Comedy About Female Vice President!

Filed under: TV NewsPolitik

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We like the sound of this! We need our gurl Elaine back on TV on a more consistent basis.

HBO has reportedly ordered a new comedy pilot, titled Veep, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus is in talks to star!

The show, written by Armando Iannucci, will apparently follow a female senator who ends up as the Vice President of the United States, and realizes that her position is "nothing like she expected and everything everyone ever warned about."

Ha! This sounds a little familiar!

Perhaps this will serve as a cautionary tale for the 2012 elections! LOLs!

What do U think?? Will U watch Veep??

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsay Ordered To Appear In Court In A Week's Time!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal Matters

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The day of judgment is almost upon her!

Lindsay Lohan - who is currently carving a jack-o-lantern with her fellow patients during the arts and crafts portion of her treatment at the Betty Ford Center - has been officially ordered to appear in court on October 22nd in regards to her latest probation violation!

A source reveals:

"Lindsay will be sentenced next Friday for her probation violation. Judge Fox could do several things. He could order her to jail immediately, sentence her to 30 days and suspend the sentence until she completes her stint at Betty Ford Center. Or he could come up with another scenario. Lindsay's fate rests with Judge Fox. Lindsay will have someone with her at all times when she leaves Betty Ford. They want to make sure that Lindsay is not tempted by anything."

It will be very interesting indeed to see what Judge Fox has in store for her!

We sincerely hope this time around she can really grasp the gravity of the situation that she's in and make a conscious effort to better herself!

[Image via WENN.]

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T.I. Ordered To Return To Atlanta!

Filed under: DrugsLegal MattersT.I.

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Oh shiz!

Now it's getting real!

T.I. aka Clifford Harris, Jr. has been ordered by his probation officer to return to Atlanta.

The rapper and his wife Tameka Cottle were arrested earlier this week for drug possession in West Hollywood, CA and were released on $10,000 bail each.

T.I. is still on probation after spending six months in jail on gun charges. According to sources, "The probation office is in the process of determining what happened and will make a recommendation regarding Mr. Harris when they have all the facts."

With T.I. being summoned back to Atlanta, things aren't looking good. He just may end up back in jail!!

[Image via WENN.]

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