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Chicago Kid Shoots Himself In Ballz, Tells Cops He Was Jumped By A Van Full Of Ninjas!!!

chicago teen shoots himself groin blames ninjas

A 17-year-old Chicago boy went to the hospital this weekend with a wounded groin, but it's not what you think — he did NOT burn himself while having sex with a freshly baked apple pie!

As it turns out, he accidentally shot himself near the privates! Ouch! Totes bummer!

What's truly strange about his story, though, is what he told the cops who questioned him!

He told them two firearm-weilding Ninjas popped out of a black van and shot him! Ninjas! Seriously! HE BLAMED NINJAS!

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The Game Tattoos President Obama's Smiling Face On His Chest!

Filed under: Music MinutePolitikBarack ObamaInkedOuchie!Game

the game tattoos president barack obamas portrait chest

Blunts, bitches, and… Barack Obama!??

Renowned hip-hop star The Game, AKA Jayceon Terrell Taylor, took his devotion to government to a whole new level recently when he let famed tattoo artist Carlos Macedo ink the Prez's face all over his chest!

The Doctor's Advocate rapper appears to be smoking what doctors call a doobie-smack-joint in the pic (above), but far be it from us to judge!!

Ch-ch-check out wild and cray vid of the whole painful process …AFTER THE JUMP!!!

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Harry Styles' Ball-Buster Admits To Shoe Crime & Tweets Apology!

Filed under: Silly!TwitterOne DirectionOuchie!

The culprit behind Harry Styles' cracked nutz has come forward!

Someone called Jade Anderson has admitted to throwing her shoe at Harry Styles' groin during One Direction's recent Glasgow gig (watch the HIGHlarious incident above) and took to her Twitter immediately after the show to apologize for her ball-busting actions.

Jade tweeted:

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One Direction's Harry Styles Has Nuts Cracked On Stage By Flying Shoe! See The Video HERE!

Filed under: One DirectionOuchie!

Don't mess with Harry's marbles, ladies — we may be wanting kids someday!

As One Direction performed in Scotland this afternoon, a frenzied female fan chucked her shoe on stage and Harry Styles somehow caught it!

Ha! How ridiculously silly!

Our five beautiful British boys, not without a sense of humor, stopped singing for a spell to have a laugh at the wacky turn of events!

And that's when

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Drew Barrymore Undergoing PAINFUL Tattoo Removal For Jewish Husband!

Filed under: Love LineDrew BarrymoreInked

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What people will do for love… OUCHIES!!

Former wild child Drew Barrymore has decided to REMOVE her tattoos because she is CONVERTING to Judaism for her husband Will Kopelman!

The new mom wishes to be buried in a Jewish cemetery, something that can only happen if she erases all permanent ink from her person.

Drew has apparently already begun the PAINFUL removal process, but it may take a while to fully expunge all 6 tats — a bouquet of flowers, a small butterfly, two angels, a crescent moon, a LARGE cross on her leg — from her body!

BUT, Drew's Jewish conversion isn't the ONLY reason she wants to LITERALLY erase her past…

One insider reveals:

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