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God Told Michael Lohan That Lindsanity Is Recovered!

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Will this douchebag ever getting tired of jerking himself off hearing the sound of his own voice??

Lindsay Lohan's stalker father, Michael, is apparently so pleased with his daughter's thirteen second appearance at the Video Music Awards that he's convinced that she is 100% healthy again!

He says:

"For a LONG time now I have been worrying and praying that the my 'blessed and gifted' daughter would find her way back. At times, I was too vocal, I made the wrong decisions and certainly handled things the wrong way. I constantly asked God that if it was His will to take me before her, which I stand by to this day. While some have made their pacts with the devil, I made mine with God, to take me first, or simply help Lindsay find her way back, and if so, He can do whatever He wants with me. Tonight, my prayers were met. On the MTV Music Awards, I saw, heard and know that Lindsay is back and I believe she will be better than ever."

Who does he think he is?

You didn't make a pact with God OR the Devil, moron! You made a pact with various media outlets to famewhore and exploit your child! It's a miracle she's even alive, after how badly you fucked her life up!

If you're proud of her, send her an effing fruit basket with a note!

[Image via WENN.]

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