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Jermaine Jackson Stuck In Africa Until He Pays Child Support

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Jermaine Jackson is in a bit of a pickle.

The brother of Michael Jackson is stuck in Africa and cannot come back to the U.S. until he pays what he owes in child support - which is nearly $100,000!

During his trip to Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso, Africa, Jermaine's passport expired. However, he was unable to renew it because of the 2008 order his baby momma Alejandra took out, which required him to pay $3,000 in child support.

Jermaine hasn't paid up and under California law, if someone owes more than $2,500 a month in child support, the State Department of Child Support Services automatically informs the FBI of the delinquency, which then flags the person's passport. If the passport expires, it will not be renewed until the debt is paid.

He will not be able to renew his passport until he pays his child support.

Sources say that the American Embassy will issue temporary papers to a U.S. citizen in special circumstances, but as for now, Jermaine is stuck.

It's time to pay up, Jermaine.

[Image via WENN.]

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"The Dog Ate My Passport"!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueDog

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A Massachusetts couple's honeymoon was ruined due to their pooch.

A few days before Eric and Brook planned to leave for Cancun, their 2-year-old basset hound chewed up Eric's passport!

Bad dog!!!

The passport's photo and bar code was still intact so the couple thought they would give it a try. The newlyweds were able to pass through security at Boston's Logan Airport, however it was not as easy when they got to Mexico.

Immigration officials in Cancun said that the condition of the passport was unacceptable and sent them home!!

Uh Oh! We hope you two get another chance at your honeymoon!

[Image via AP Images.]

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Heather Locklear No Longer A Sambora

Filed under: Love LineHeather Locklear

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Even though Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora filed for divorce in 2006, she's now just requesting to get the "Sambora" taken off her name.

In court documents, Heather has asked to her name to be officially changed from Heather Deen Sambora back to Heather Locklear.

And girlfriend wants it done fast so that her new passport has her old name by the time she travels abroad on October 25.

Nothing like waiting until the last minute, Heather!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsanity's First Tell-All Interview Is On Its Way!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal Matters

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Well, would you look at that?

Barely a week after her prison sentence and she's already ca$hing in!

Lindsanity LOLhan has reportedly sat down for her first tell-all interview since Judge Marsha 'Cut A Bitch' Revel laid down the cold hand of the law and sentenced the hard-pAArtying wacktress to 90 days in the slammer, and we can only imagine what kind of amazing, cracked out lies are going to be spewing from that mouth this time around!

We hear she even tries to lie through her teeth about explain how her maaagical passport mysteriously disappeared during her trip to Cannes to promote her yet-to-be greenlit, yet-to-be filmed imaginary movie Inferno!

Expect to be glued to the screen, folks - Lindsay is sure to be on her A-game with this one!

We originally thought this was a STOOPID decision on her part, but then we remembered that gurlfriend can make BANK off of this shiz!

And at the end of the day, she's a Lohan through and through - right down to the delusional, famewhoring meth-face!

So go right ahead, bb, keep pimping your over-entitled denial right out!

[Image via WENN.]

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Michael Lohan Says He's "Fed Up" With Lindsay's Lies And Has Nothing Else To Say To Her

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But of course, he has a million things to say to the media.

Media whore and father of the year Michael Lohan has decided to respond to Lindsay's claims that he stole her passport and, big surprise, he alerted the media!!

He says:

"I’m fed up with her lies, I’m fed up with her denial. It is really, really going to hurt her. I’m so fed up with her now… To say that I had her passport stolen, I mean that was the straw that broke the camel’s back… She’s gonna get the book thrown at her. It is going to have a long term effect on her and it isn’t going to be a good one. [She's] famous, very vulnerable very sensitive. She’s not suited for jail."

She may not be suited for jail, but everyone knows that when Lindsay is behind bars, his meal ticket and whole reason for living (being in the spotlight) will be gone.

He also says that Lindsay could have easily made it back in time for her court date, adding:

"She could’ve been back here. We had a jet waiting for Lindsay. We had everything waiting for her. She just ignored everything I said. I think she’s in denial. I think she’s overlooking what the root of the problem really is. It’s heartbreaking. I have nothing to say to you Lindsay, nothing at all.”

Ouch! But you probably have TONS to say to the media!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsanity Alleges That Her Father Is Behind Stolen Passport!

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Oh, this is just pathetic.

Lindsay Lohan - who is crying into a vodka red bull and bag of blow right now because she knows the minute she hops off her plane at LAX, her ass is getting thrown into jail - still can't take responsibility for the giant pile of shit that is her life, and is now accusing her father of being behind her 'stolen' passport!

She just released THIS lovely little quotable:

"I always said my father had someone do it."

REALLY?? And your father forced you to leave the country when you knew you had a hearing you needed to be present for, your father made you miss your alcohol education courses, and your father shoved drugs up your nose and booze down your throat??

He's awful, bb, but at this point, you're spineless, entitled little ass is WORSE!

[Image via WENN.]

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Judge Knows La Loca's Story Is Bullshiz!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal Matters

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It turns out that Judge Marsha Revel knows all about the ins-and-outs of travel. Her husband Jack once owned Revel Travel and is now President of TravCom.

So when she heard about Lindsay Lohan's predicament regarding her "stolen passport," the judge knew that wouldn't be enough to stop the wacktress. Lindsanity could have obtained a temporary passport in time to make her court date.

And when La Loca claimed all the flights back to El Lay were booked because of the volcano, she knew that was bullshit as well.

Looks like Lindsay is in for some jail time!

[Image via WENN.]

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