Want To Hear ALL About Russell Brand And Kate Moss In Bed?
Bet you didn't realize that Russell Brand slept his way to the top!
Fortunately for Russell, he only had to sleep with ONE person to get there - Kate Moss!
Here's what Brand had to say about it:
"I could never have anticipated the instant elevation that this liaison would afford me, it was like being awarded a celebrity Victoria Cross. The world 'approved' was stamped on my forehead and I was now to appear in The Sun newspaper as regularly as the horoscopes."
Brand claims he achieved fame when paparazzi noticed him with Moss. But, how did he get with Moss in the first place?
According to his upcoming book, Booky Wook 2, Moss liked his jokes, and one day a friend approached him and said "Kate would like to meet you," to which he replied "Kate who?"
More From Brand on Kate:
"Obviously you remember the prettiest girl in your school. Her sweeping majesty, her ethereal glow, how the playground floor did not dare besmirch her gentle feet with its lowly asphalt touch. Kate Moss is the prettiest girl in all our schools. Behold our queen, but don't look at her directly or all else you gaze upon till death brings down your lids will be as shadows compared to her beauty."
And more from Brand:
"My heart pounding, of course, but also my liver and lungs and feet. Paul Simon thinks my vital organs may be a lost African tribe and considers recording a follow-up to 'Graceland' in my colon.
We kiss, and yes, on one level I'm enjoying the kiss, but my mind is screaming, screeching, body-popping, lambada-ing. Playground fads are revisited: yo-yos, hula hoops, pogs. 'Kiss properly, stop thinking about pogs, you idiot.' "
"Ludicrously I say to her, 'Do you want to come back to mine . . . Kate Moss?' "
According to Brand, when he got her back to his place, seeing her there was "like looking into the garden and seeing Vegas Elvis mowing the lawn."
Want to hear more about Kate's Russell-rendez-vous? Us too!
"Her hair fans over the pillow like a peacock's tail. Kate Moss is indeed in the bed, and for a minute I feel like I've murdered her. 'Oh my God, what have I done?' I get up and back away like a butler on the first day with the Queen, not daring to turn from her for a moment."
The next day when Brand returned to his apartment, he saw that Kate had made the bed, and he decided he was in love.
Unfortunately, that's where the honeymoon ends. The next day, Russell and Kate were the talk of the tabloids, and shortly thereafter, Moss's friends claimed that Kate "accused him of making money off her name, ranting, raving, and call him a tw*t."
Here's what Brand says about the aftermath in his book:
"What no one realized, not Kate nor the red-top tabloid press, was that far from viewing her as a conquest, I was absolutely smitten. When I clumsily ballsed it up by flatly telling journalists . . . 'I was just larking around,' she wisely withdrew and I had enough sense to stop calling her."
Quite the story! Guess it was all for the best, because if he had kept his cool, Brand MIGHT have stayed with Kate Moss, and then he might not have ended up with Katy Perry.
So, Russell Brand slept with Kate Moss, got crazy famous, and is now getting married to someone he loves so much that he doesn't even want a pre-nup?
Seems like a happy ending to the Russell Brand story to us…at least for now!
[Images via WENN.]
Tags: bed, booky wook 2, elivs, graceland, happy ending, hula hoops, one night stand, paparazzi, paul simon, pogs, pre nup, prettiest girl in your school, queen, tabloids
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