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The Hottest Stories Right Now!

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Kanye West's ‘Psychotic Break' Reportedly Fueled By Rifts With Kim Kardashian, Sleep Deprivation, & MORE
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Gigi Hadid (Sort Of) Apologizes For Her Melania Trump Impression At The AMAs — See What She Said HERE!
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Bus Driver Reportedly Asked Students If They Were 'Ready To Die' Before Crashing Into A Tree & Killing Five Children!
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Kylie Jenner Apologizes For Overlining Kendall Jenner's Lips & Making Everyone Think She Got Injections
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Tila Tequila FINALLY Suspended From Twitter For Posting Hate Speech & Nazi Salute!
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Kid Cudi Pens Heartfelt Thank You Note To Kanye West, Pharrell, & Others Who Supported Him During His 'Troubling Time'!
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Kanye West Is 'Falling Apart' Because Kim Kardashian Can't Give Him Her 'Full Attention' Following Paris Robbery
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This Teen's Peen Eyeliner Is Going Viral — Check Out The Hilarity!
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Alt-Right (AKA Neo-Nazi) Donald Trump Supporters Gather To 'Hail Trump' & Celebrate The President-Elect's Victory — Watch
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Man Hospitalized After Shoving A USB Wire Up His Penis To Pleasure Himself — Oh Yeah, It Got Stuck!
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This Teen's Peen Eyeliner Is Going Viral — Check Out The Hilarity!

Filed under: Beauty BuzzMakeup Magic!Peen

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We usually like d*cks closer to other locations on our face, but maybe we've been wrong this whole time!

A teenager named Asia Brautigam has gone viral by drawing a penis and balls on the corners of her eye! LOLz!

She told Buzzfeed she did it because she wanted to "joke around about the creative and artistic eyeshadow looks" that are so popular on social media these days.

She succeeded!

Her tweet has not only gone viral, but also inspired others to get creative with boners near their eyeballs as well.

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Man Hospitalized After Shoving A USB Wire Up His Penis To Pleasure Himself — Oh Yeah, It Got Stuck!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooWacky, Tacky & TrueHealthInjurySexOuchie!Disgusting!CrazzzzyGIFsPeen

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Be prepared to cringe!

An unnamed man from northwestern China's Shaanxi Province is in the hospital after shoving a USB cable in his penis to try and pleasure himself.

Video: This Local News Anchor Accidentally Draw A Penis On Live Television

Doctors have said that after drinking quite heavily one day and reading about various ways to pleasure himself on the Internet, the anonymous man:

"found a video online that taught him how to sexually stimulate himself with a charging cable, so he inserted one into his urethra."

WTF?!

After cramming the 20 centimeter USB phone cable up his peen, the John Doe rushed himself to the hospital where doctors operated on him and removed the wire, which you can take a look at (below)!

*WARNING — GRAPHIC IMAGES*

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Watch This Local News Anchor Accidentally Draw A Penis On Live Television…

Filed under: Oops!Media MinuteTech TalkHIGHlariousFunnyViral: NewsPeen

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We never thought we'd see morning wood on morning news but….. apparently drawing a cannon is harder than we thought.

A tech demonstration went horribly wrong — or horribly right, depending on how you look at it — on Wednesday when a news anchor accidentally drew a penis on live television.

Related: Jon Hamm Is Totally Here For Those Penis Rumors!

You may be wondering, Perezcious readers, how it's possible to mistakenly draw a dong. Especially on the air. But believe us, it happens!

Allow us to explain. Q13 FOX anchor Travis Mayfield was demonstrating Google's artificial intelligence game called Quick Draw, in which the computer attempts to correctly guess a picture drawn by a human player.

Coanchor Kaci Atchison was itching to give it a go, but her first illustration turned out more e-rect than cor-rect.

The Seattle personality was trying to draw a cannon, but it instantly resembled something dirtier! Watch the HIGHlarious blunder (below)!

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Jon Hamm Is Totally Here For Those Rumors About His Big Ol' Peen

Filed under: Yummy Yummy ScrewJon HammGQMad MenPeen

Jon Hamm

Yes, Jon Hamm knows everyone thinks he has a big peen. And yes, he's totally OK with it!

As he should be!

The 45-year-old's big package has been a HOT topic ever since revealing pictures of the Mad Men star seemingly forgetting his underpants surfaced several years back. Bless.

But what does the hunky actor think of everyone talking about his Little Big Jon?

Related: Billy Eichner & Jon Ask People On The Street To Have A Threesome

Speaking to GQ, the Men Of The Year cover star reportedly said:

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Man Arrested For Driving Naked With Electrical Wires Attached To His Penis — SHOCKING Details Here!

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Now in disgusting, batsh*t crazy people news…

Earlier this week, police in South Florida caught a man driving naked through a neighborhood filled with kids. Oh yeah, and he had electrical wires attached to his penis!

A witness called in when Kurt Allen Jenkins made sexual advances, gesturing for people to look at his penis. It was at this point when the anonymous caller saw the lewd man had wires attached to his junk.

On top of that, as the person approached the car, the passenger in the vehicle promptly opened the door and left! WHAT?! Who were they?!

Mr. Jenkins then continued to drive around the neighborhood; a bus full of children even went by and got off!

Related: Body Shaming Playboy Playmate Dani Mathers Slapped With Invasion Of Privacy Charge!

The great news is two police cars arrived shortly after, though officers had a bit of trouble getting the man out of his car. Naturally.

After he ignored their orders, the cops dragged him to the ground and handcuffed him, and the man was taken to the hospital for three days for injuries.

Jenkins has been charged with lewd behavior in front of children, indecent exposure, and resisting an officer without violence.

We don't yet know whether the wounds in his mugshot (above) were from the arrest, or there's even MORE to this insane story!

[Image via Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.]

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Kate Beckinsale's Penis Obsession Got Her Daughter In Trouble At School — Hear Her Tell The Whole Story To Seth Meyers!

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This was quite literally a dick move…

Kate Beckinsale may be the embodiment of classic Hollywood glamour-meets-British high society, but that doesn't mean she's incapable of being lowbrow.

In fact, the Underworld: Blood Wars star stopped by Late Night with Seth Meyers on Wednesday where she shared a very PG-13 story involving her 17-year-old daughter… and some peen!

Related: Kate's Husband Files For Divorce 1 Year After Split!

Apparently, Kate is slightly obsessed with penises — so much so that she regularly rearranges fruit bowls to resemble male genitalia!

Unfortunately for Lily Beckinsale, however, that penchant for peckers failed to impress her professors when her momma accidentally doodled one on her homework!!

Telling a penis story is a ballsy move, Kate… but it sure paid off!

Ch-ch-check out Kate Beckinsale's phallic fascination in her own words (below)!!!

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