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Meet Iron Underwear Man! His Special Powers? Getting Caught Trying To Open An ATM With A Blow Torch!

fuuny gif iron man ironing cloth

Something tells us this guy won't be joining the Avengers anytime soon.

A 32-year-old man by the name of Tony Stark Mark Fischer is accused of attempting to use a blowtorch to cut into an ATM in Portland on Sunday, in a story that could be turned into a great Portlandia sketch.

Not only did he reportedly have a knife, a stun gun, and an acetylene torch, he allegedly tried pepper-spraying the cops who were sent to the scene. Best of all, he was wearing, get this, armored underwear complete with ballistic panels!

Talk about balls of steel!

Usually a cup does the trick, but we guess he really wanted to make sure that no one gave him a below the belt punch!

He's booked right now on multiple charges, including possession of body armor, which is a felony! Next time leave your steel thong at home!

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Sam Worthington Was ARRESTED For Fighting Outside Atlanta Club!

Filed under: Legal MattersParty Poppin'

Sam Worthington got a little feisty outside a club in Atlanta, Georgia over the weekend and his eyes have paid the piper.

The Australian actor was PEPPER SPRAYED by a doorman at Vortex and placed in handcuffs until cops arrived to charge him with disorderly conduct.

Worthington got so angry after he was denied entry into the establishment (because he was already too drunk and didn't have proper ID), that he pushed

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New Mexico Man Inexplicably Beats The Ever-Loving Tar Out Of… A Stop Sign?

Raymond Garcia had only one thought last week after encountering a red octagonal sign which read "STOP":

Hammer time!

The Roswell, NM dude literally beat the paint off a stop sign until law enforcement responded… and gave him human targets to wail on!

Usually when police tell a man defacing public property to stop in the name of love the law, citizens collaborate and listen!

Guess this Ray is different than most!

Ch-ch-check out the totally cray account (above) of how neither police batons, pepper spray, nor even the knowledge that engaging an inanimate object in fisticuffs is a lose/lose battle could stop Raymond from waging war in his least favorite intersection!

The stop sign could not be reached for comment.

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Teen Pepper Sprays Classmates At High School!!

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What is going on in this world?!

Police pepper spraying peaceful OWS protestors, women pepper spraying Black Friday shoppers, and now a 14-year-old teen has pepper sprayed her classmates at school, sending eight students to the hospital with minor injuries.

During school hours at the W. 129th St. school, the eight students were rushed to the hospital after they inhaled the noxious chemicals found in the pepper spray.

A summons was issued to the student, but no word on whether or not, she was charged.

In other news, only 73% the students at this particular school in Harlem said that they felt safe in the hallways and bathrooms at their school.

That is not good. Not good at all.

[Image via AP Images.]

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Seriously? Black Friday Shopper Uses Pepper Spray!

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Now, before we get into this, we don't want to generalize the whole of Black Friday shoppers due to the actions of the crazy minority. But…

That being said, Black Friday is a setting some MAJOR shenanigans! A shopper used pepper spray to get their goods in a Los Angeles Wal-Mart late Thursday night.

The crowds looked like that of a music festival so most people didn't even realize what was going on until

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Pregnant Woman Miscarries After Being Hit With Pepper Spray By Police

Filed under: PolitikSad SadPregnancy Talk

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Has it really come to this?

This is so incredibly tragic…

Jennifer Fox, a pregnant woman, who was at the Occupy Seattle encampment, was hit with pepper spray and kicked in the stomach by Seattle police during Tuesday's protest.

The woman tragically miscarried after the incident.

She is now speaking out about what happened:

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Pepper-Spraying Campus Police Placed On Leave

Filed under: Icky Icky PooPolitikBusted!

Thankfully, something is being done.

Yesterday, we showed you the disturbing and SHOCKING video (above) of police pepper spraying non-violent protestors at the Occupy movement on the UC Davis campus.

UC Davis Chanceloor Linda Katehi said she shared the "outrage" of students and was "deeply saddened" by the actions of the police.

She added:

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