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Bill O'Reilly Divorced His Wife Then Begged The Pope To Send Her To Hell?

Filed under: Love LineBill O'Reilly

bill-oreilly-divorce-catholic-church-excommunicated-maureen-mcphilmy

Going after the frequent flier miles is one thing, but trying to get your children's mother excommunicated from her church is another thing all together!

Bill O'Reilly and Maureen McPhilmy, the woman who divorced him and then remarried another man, aren't exactly getting along when it comes to raising their kids.

A man and his ex-wife disagreeing on parenting styles isn't exactly unprecedented, but when it gets so bad he starts a one man crusade against his ex-wife's soul?

Yikes!!

Marueen has been officially reprimanded by the Catholic Church for continuing to (1) receive communion at her local church after getting divorced and remarried — Mmm, but the body of Christ is so delicious! And who can turn down a free snack? — and (2) telling her kids that marriage numero dos is valid in God's eyes!

If she continues down this terrible road of sinful sacrilege seemingly normal path, she could be

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Pope Francis I Gets The Keys To Vatican City! See The Video HERE!

Filed under: Etc.Politik

In case you've been living under a non-demoniational rock, there's a new Pope in town!

The Vatican unveiled Pope Francis I to millions of super-stoked Catholics today and, for the sinners out there who were feeling too sloth-like to turn on their TVs, the ceremony was a sweet-as-ballz cross between a State of the Union address and a Madonna concert!

Ha! We wish we could've been backstage for that!

Pr-pr-press PLAY on the perfectly charming papal video (above) and watch P. Frank Uno lead his flock in a FIERCE prayer!

The Argentinian known just yesterday as Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has only one lung, but was mercifully blessed with a double helping of soul!

His Holiness, sadly, didn't reveal the ONE crucial detail we were chomping at the bit to learn: his new Twitter handle!!!

Oh well, we'll probably find out soon enough. Patience is a virtue, LOLz!

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Move Aside, Pope Francis! Celebs Who Would Make A Good Backup Pope!

Filed under: Exclusives!MadonnaBeyonceKanye WestAdele

madonna could be the new pope why not(1)

Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina has JUST been named the new pope, but that's not stopping us from thinking about his replacement!

After all, he is 76 years old so he may get a little cough here and there and hey, all popes need a day off every once in a while, right?

So, why not hold our own papal election???

Here are 7 people who we think would make excellent choices as a backup pope just in case Pope Francis needs a day off! Just wait until you get until the end!!

CLICK HERE to view "Celebs Who Would Make A Good Backup Pope!"

CLICK HERE to view "Celebs Who Would Make A Good Backup Pope!"

CLICK HERE to view "Celebs Who Would Make A Good Backup Pope!"

CLICK HERE to view "Celebs Who Would Make A Good Backup Pope!"

CLICK HERE to view "Celebs Who Would Make A Good Backup Pope!"

[Image via Hollywood Pictures.]

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Pope Francis I Only Has One Lung!

Filed under: Etc.Health

pope francis one lung health healthy no worries

Wait wait wait!

Did someone keep the receipt?? We only got part of a new Pope!

We kid, we kid — but it IS an incredible fact that Pope Francis I only has one lung! It was lost to an infection as a teenager, but medical experts remind us that

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Dennis Rodman Thinks He's Going To Ride In The Popemobile!

dennis rodman vatican insane north korea pope kim jong un somebody stop him rome

Somehow, we don't think that's gonna happen, Dennis Rodman!

Maybe he just has faith that it will, because we aren't kidding when we say that Dennis has plans to ride in the Popemobile, among other things to do like meet the new Pope, which will also probably not happen!

The paparazzi caught up with Dennis as he was boarding his plane to Rome yesterday, and asked him a bunch of questions — which he answered — like, what was the weirdest thing Kim Jong Un showed him

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Dennis Rodman's World Peace Tour Continues! Next Up: The New Pope!

Filed under: PolitikBasketballDennis Rodman

dennis rodman vatican insane north korea pope kim jong un somebody stop him

That is, if the new Pope even cares one ounce about a retired basketball player who loves Kim Jong Un!

As you can tell with all the fresh threats of destroying the U.S. and invalidating armistices with South Korea, North Korea is in a MUCH better place now that Dennis Rodman has visited! Now, he wants to fix the Catholic Church!

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Topless Protestors Storm Notre Dame In Celebration Of The Pope's Resignation!

Filed under: Gay Gay GayEtc.Politik

WARNING: NUDITY!

In France, eight Femen activists undressed and went topless in support of Pope Benedict XVI's resignation (above) — jumping restricted areas and ringing iconic bells.

The Pope wasn't the only reason they did this, though, as they claim it was also in support of gay marriage, but then security showed up and escorted the women out of the cathedral. Womp.

Their bodies were painted with slogans such as 'Pope no more' and 'Bye bye Benoit.' They described themselves as "provocateurs," which must be French for "topless bell-ringers!" LOLz!

We're glad nobody was hurt, and we can definitely see the reason behind wanting to stand up for same-sex marriage, but we also wonder why it's so volatile when it's supposed to be in celebration of the Pope stepping down! Doesn't seem like a celebration to us!

We bet tourists were shocked! They got waaaaaay more than they thought they would during their visit! Ha!

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