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Tom Cruise Replaces Pope Francis As Argentina's Most Magnificent Man!

Filed under: Tom Cruise

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First Russia, now Argentina?

Watch out, world — Tom Cruise is conquering the planet one nation at at time!

The actor just flew to South America for the premiere of new sci-fi flick Oblivion and boy, are his arms tired the locals loving him!

His fantastically fervent fan-base awaited his arrival at Buenos Aires Airport and have since followed him and co-star Olga Kurylenko around like adorable little Dogo Argentino puppies!

Chef Ken Shiizu of M Buenos Aires just cooked skirt steak for the Tropic Thunder star and 35 of his closest travel buddies and, by his description, everyone was just sweeter than Zac Efron's saliva!!

The chef revealed

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The Vatican Tweets About Batman! New Pope A Nerd?!

Filed under: Media MinuteTwitterComic Books

batman pope francis vatican tweetPope Francis I has been viewed as controversial by some but has generally been accepted as a fairly mainstream, if somewhat conservative choice.

But we never asked his stance on The Dark Knight Rises!

Apparently the Vatican has strong feelings on the subject! The Pontifical Council for Social Communications tweeted:

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Bill O'Reilly Divorced His Wife Then Begged The Pope To Send Her To Hell?

Filed under: Love LineBill O'Reilly

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Going after the frequent flier miles is one thing, but trying to get your children's mother excommunicated from her church is another thing all together!

Bill O'Reilly and Maureen McPhilmy, the woman who divorced him and then remarried another man, aren't exactly getting along when it comes to raising their kids.

A man and his ex-wife disagreeing on parenting styles isn't exactly unprecedented, but when it gets so bad he starts a one man crusade against his ex-wife's soul?

Yikes!!

Marueen has been officially reprimanded by the Catholic Church for continuing to (1) receive communion at her local church after getting divorced and remarried — Mmm, but the body of Christ is so delicious! And who can turn down a free snack? — and (2) telling her kids that marriage numero dos is valid in God's eyes!

If she continues down this terrible road of sinful sacrilege seemingly normal path, she could be

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Pope Francis I Gets The Keys To Vatican City! See The Video HERE!

Filed under: Etc.Politik

In case you've been living under a non-demoniational rock, there's a new Pope in town!

The Vatican unveiled Pope Francis I to millions of super-stoked Catholics today and, for the sinners out there who were feeling too sloth-like to turn on their TVs, the ceremony was a sweet-as-ballz cross between a State of the Union address and a Madonna concert!

Ha! We wish we could've been backstage for that!

Pr-pr-press PLAY on the perfectly charming papal video (above) and watch P. Frank Uno lead his flock in a FIERCE prayer!

The Argentinian known just yesterday as Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has only one lung, but was mercifully blessed with a double helping of soul!

His Holiness, sadly, didn't reveal the ONE crucial detail we were chomping at the bit to learn: his new Twitter handle!!!

Oh well, we'll probably find out soon enough. Patience is a virtue, LOLz!

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