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Obama To The Rescue! President Enacts Plan To Protect Wildlife!

President Obama is going to do what he can to save the animals! All of them! Yay!

President Obama cares a whole lot about animals, and not just his cutie pooches Bo and Sunny.

He loves animals across the world! That's why he wants to do something about illegal wildlife trafficking networks all over the globe.

Things are getting pretty bad because

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Russell Simmons Writes Letter To President Obama Urging Him To Stop Dolphin Slaughter In Japan! Tons Of Other Celebs Sign!

russell simmons bottlenose dolphin murder

Listen up, President Obama!

Sean Penn, Cher, Susan Sarandon, Jennifer Hudson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Charlize Theron, Ellen DeGeneres and William Shatner, along with others have signed a letter written by Russell Simmons urging you to step and and stop Japan’s annual roundup and slaughter of bottlenose dolphins!

It's high time this tradition be stopped — and we're fully aware how cultures deserve their own traditions and how they should be respected. That is, as long as they're not bringing ANYONE or ANYTHING harm!

The letter was addressed to Caroline Kennedy, the U.S. ambassador to Japan.

Here's some of what the letter said:

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Marijuana Poisoning In Dogs On The Rise! Do Not Smoke Pot Around Your Pets!

Filed under: DrugsBarack ObamaHealthDogGIFs

Marijuana poisoning in dogs is on the rise! Super dangerous!

Marijuana is one of the safer drugs out there, even compared to alcohol!

Why, just ask reformed dope smoker President Obama!

You know how much weed you'd have to smoke to overdose on pot??

Theoretically, (a judge once did the math) you'd have to smoke about 1,500 pounds of marijuana in about 15 minutes to ingest a lethal dose!!

You'd die from smoke inhalation, asphyxiation and Doritos hunger before you ever O.D.ed.

Sadly, a dog can actually die from marijuana consumption!

Whether they

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Obama's Pardoned Turkey Will Just Die Anyway!

Filed under: Barack ObamaSad SadFoodBirds

President Obama's pardoned turkeys don't actually live much longer to enjoy their freedom.

Well this just burst a magical Thanksgiving fantasy we had.

One of the best parts of Thanksgiving is when the President pardons two turkeys from having to be eaten.

Sure, when President Obama waves his magic hand, the turkeys are no longer on death row. Heck, they even move to George Washington's historic home of Mount Vernon.

But after that? They don't make it very long.

The problem is

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Ted Danson Petitions President Obama To Save Whales And Dolphins

Filed under: Barack ObamaMama NatureDolphinsWhalesTed Danson

Ted Danson

The Obama administration is considering using seismic air gun blasts to search for oil and gas under the ocean seabed.

The problem with this is that the blasts are 100,000 times louder than a jet engine and they'd occur every 10 seconds for months!!

There's a very good chance that 138,500 whales and dolphins will be injured and maybe even killed by these blasts.

Luckily, they have Ted Danson fighting for them. He said:

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