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The Bling Ring Twit Thinks That She's An Author! Alexis Neiers To "Write" Book

Filed under: Icky Icky PooReality TV

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Oh, we're sure this will just be a captivating read!

Pretty Stoopid Wild star and Bling Ring jailbird Alexis Neiers is reportedly set to write a book loosely based on her moronic life!

The 18 year old, whom we're shocked to believe can even spell her own name, is shopping around a story that would be "Gossip Girl goes to Hollywood" and focus on "Hollywood's most infamous party girls."

We're sorry. Come again?

A z-list reality star who's most famous for breaking into the homes of legitimate celebrities thinks she can write a book as though she's somehow included in that group?

We wouldn't even use the pages of that mess as toilet paper!

Her idiocy is probably contagious!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Bling Ring Member Gets Into Fashion

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Alexis Neiers, of Pretty Wild and celebrity burglary fame, is coming out with her own clothing line.

So that's what she thought about while Lindsay Lohan sat in the cell next to hers!

The ex-con describes her line as a mix between lingerie and intimates (huh!?) and is very Victorian. Alexis hopes to make her fashionable debut in the spring and to sell her trashy garments (if you can call them that) in stores like Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus.

We're sure they'll be thrilled to have a designer who broke into houses and stole celebrity's property in their store.

[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]

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Alexis Neiers Repents!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal MattersZ List

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Do you know what we think whenever that dumbass Alexis Neiers opens her trap and spouts out a bunch of bullshit?

Bitch, PLEASE.

Now that the Pretty Wild twit has served her time for her involvement in the string of celebrity robberies known as the Bling Ring, she's STILL maintaining that she was innocent all along and whining about being behind bars!

She explains:

"When I first went to jail, I was like, 'I'm innocent! Why the heck am I here?' And the first time that cell door closed and I sat down on my bed with just a sheet and I had nothing but the bare essentials, I really started to focus. I know that the situation I was put in was only because of my choices. It's not Nick’s fault. It's not the detective's fault. It's my fault. There's nothing I can do now except show people [that I've changed]. I'm not going to tell people that I'm going to do things differently. Actions speak louder than words.”

It sounds like prison has made her QUITE the humanitarian. And deep thinker!

LOLs. BARF.

We'll see how long this 'all new' Alexis Neiers lasts.

What do U think?? When will she be up to her old tricks again??

[Image via WENN.]

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Ex-Con Alexis Neiers, On Lindsay In The Slammer

Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal Matters

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She wasn't doing well!

Alexis Neiers of E!'s Pretty Wild was released from jail on Friday and reveals that Lindsay Lohan wasn't doing too great in the neighboring cell!

Neiers didn't talk to Lilo because she was in "a separate pod," but she says:

"I did see her … no words. She had an officer with her at all times. We were in protective custody, so it's not like anyone can get near you. I just saw her a couple times, and I really wish her the best."

Alexis added that La Loca "looked a little down, but you're in prison, you're in jail, ya know?"

Well, at least Neiers sounds like she learned her lesson, saying:

"I wasted my life. And I found a lot of things I wanted to do in life, and I was able to strip away the negativity."

Hopefully Linds can do the same!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsay Loses Jailmate! Alexis Neiers Released From The Slammer!

Filed under: Legal MattersDina LohanReality TV

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Pretty Wild star Alexis Neiers was released from Lynwood Detention Center on Friday night after serving only 30 days of her 180-day sentence for her role in a string of celebrity burglaries in the Hollywood Hills.

Alexis, who has been ordered to pay restitution to Orlando Bloom for the theft, released the following statement.

It read:

"I've had time to reflect on my life and the choices that led me to this experience, left alone in my cell 23 hours a day and having everything stripped away but the bare essentials. I did a lot of soul searching. I feel very humbled and see my life in a way that I have come to be very grateful for and I am also grateful to everyone who has helped and supported me through this."

I am committed to talking to teens and encouraging them to become goal oriented and participate in positive activities that give back to their world."

Ha. And are they gonna have their own pathetic reality show?!

Her mother, former Playmate Andrea Arlington, said:

"We are absolutely thrilled and so grateful for Alexis's freedom. We are anxious for the start of a great new future for her. The first thing she wanted when she was out? Real people food. She's craving salmon and mashed potatoes. We can't wait to go out to eat!"

Wowsa! Someone has Dina Lohan syndrome. Who is gonna tell Alexis to get her trashtastic shiz together?!

[Image via WENN.]

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