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Back To Rehab For Charlie Sheen!

Filed under: DrugsCharlie Sheen

back to promises rehab for charlie sheen

So much for that "allergic reaction" story, huh?

Sources are reporting that Charlie Sheen is heading back to rehab, after losing his mind this morning on a terrible bender that left him naked, drunk and in a trashed suite in the Plaza Hotel with a hooker.

We're told that arrangements have already been made for Charlie upon his release from a New York hospital to fly back to Los Angeles and check into Promises in Malibu.

That's probably for the best. Maybe this time you could make it a more permanent arrangement, as going only half the time didn't seem to work out well for you in the end.

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsay Checking Into Rehab Today

Filed under: Lindsay Lohan

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Finally!

Lilo will check into a rehab facility in Southern California — although not “Promises,” a center she’s been to in the past.

She will be at a live-in facility, most likely until her court hearing next month.

We hope she can start getting her life back on track. You’re running out of second chances, Lilo! Make this one count!

[Image via WENN.]

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Charlie Sheen's Court Appearances Cost Taxpayers $20,000!

Filed under: Legal MattersCharlie Sheen

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Yikes!

Charlie Sheen got off easy, but the taxpayers of Aspen paid 20,000 big ones for his court appearances!

Aspen Police Department spokesperson Stephanie Desaro explains:

“It cost both the Pitkin County Sheriff’s Department and the Aspen Police around $20,000 for his four appearances. The Aspen Police Department was in control of security outside the court, providing officers to deal with the media and things like that while the Sheriff’s Department picked up the bill for the staffing inside the court building.”

Sheen was sentenced to 30 days at Malibu's Promises Treatment Center plus 36 hours of anger management and three months probation.

It's also up to Promises if he can come and go from the center — like a hotel!

This guy gets lucky break after lucky break!

[Image via WENN.]

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Sheen Speaks!

Filed under: Charlie Sheen

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Not that there is very much to say.

How many ways can you express how insanely lucky you are???

After receiving the best plea deal imaginable this morning, Charlie Sheen released a brief statement to sources, saying:

"I'm very grateful to the court and to the people of Pitkin County. I look forward to complying with the court's decision, getting on with my life and putting this behind me."

Oh we're bet you are grateful! Promises is the effing Four Seasons of rehabs. When you are talking about your "feelings" on the beach while sucking down virgin Mai-Tais at sunset, we bet you'll be feeling all kinds of remorse.

[Image via WENN.]

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Such A Deal! Charlie Sheen Off To Rehab In Malibu! No "Jail" Time!

Filed under: DrugsLegal MattersCharlie Sheen

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Charlie Sheen is one lucky effing bastard.

In what quite possibly is the sweetest deal in legal history, Charlie was sentenced to a 30-day jail sentence for pleading guilty to a misdemeanor assault. (For that time he got strung out on blow and chased his wife with a machete knife.)

The thing is, Charlie will spend very little time in jail…and when we say very little, we mean none at all. His all-star lawyer convinced the system to let Charlie carry out his sentence at Promises Rehab Facility on the beautiful beaches of Malibu. This won't be Charlie's first time at the facility and as we understand it, his "30 day" sentence doesn't mean he has to stay there for all 30 days.

When Charlie arrives to check-in to Promises on August 23rd, he will receive a credit for "time served." That means, upon check-in, he can then promptly check-out without any hassle.

Well that's just so convenient, huh?!

Hey, what's that noise? It's like a harsh pounding sound combined with the sober screeches of a dying wildebeest?

Oh, must be Lindsay Lohan catching wind of this story in her cell room, pounding her head against the cement walls of UCLA….which is SOOOO not Promises.

Once again, Charlie you cause a great amount of distress with minimal punishment. Can't wait to see what Santa brings you next Christmas!

[Image via WENN.]

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