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Alex Pettyfer Paid Men To Dangle Their Balls In His Face! Twice!

The sausage pizza delivery guy Alex Pettyfer stopped by Jimmy Kimmel's show Monday and, to our delight, Magic Mike was the topic of conversation!

Get this! As research for their roles, the cast took a few field trips to male strip clubs!

We understand! A dong in the face is a small price to pay for true artistry!

Unforunately, Matty McC and Channing Tatum enjoyed their boys night without Alex — so he had no recourse but to perform his reconnaissance missions solo!!

He learned so much from the first trip, he actually decided to go twice!! LOLz!!

We love Jimmy, but Frost/Nixon this interview was not!!

How much did Alex spend on just the tips?

Were the performers neatly-groomed, completely shaven, or was hard to find the trees through the forest??

Were the VIP dances "hands off" or was a gentle spanking encouraged??

Ch-Ch-Check out Alex's long, hard, errr… tale in the clip (above)!

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Avatar-Themed Nightclub Exists, Whether You Wanted It Or Not

James Cameron is rolling over in his grave — which is especially troubling, considering he is still alive and as healthy as a whole herd of genetically enhanced oxen!

Mike Basson is a South African entrepreneur who had an original idea for a nightspot — an Avatar themed club!

We aren't sure how to break this to you, Mike, so… we just won't.

If Rainforest Cafe and a Spencer's each ingested a half-bottle of Ambien before engaging in frantic but joyless sex in an alleyway behind their mall, Avastar would be their freakish and unwanted offspring!!

You must watch this facepalm-inspiring promo (above) for Avastar — "with over 8 lasers!"

Poor Mike! We hope this won't dissuade you from opening up that Titanic-themed beach resort next spring, LOLz!!

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