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He's Outta Here!! Derek Jeter Is Officially Retiring! Read His Heartfelt Letter HERE!

Filed under: ZportzSad SadFacebookBaseballDerek Jeter

derek jeter officially retiring

Holy shizz, sports fans! We did NOT see this coming!

Well, eventually — but not today!

Like most jobs, they come to an end: either you play long enough to get fired, or you see yourself retiring on a beach somewhere.

Derek Jeter is about to do the latter, because the word on the street is that he's OFFICIALLY RETIRING!

After one more

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Shia LaBeouf Realizes He MIght Actually NOT Be Famous Anymore In A Pretty Embarrassing Way — And It's All Caught On Tape!

Where's your bag now, bro?!

After walking out of a press conference and reminding everyone that he's "not famous anymore," Shia LaBeouf was spotted aimlessly walking around LAX looking for his limo driver!

And for awhile, it seems like the driver might not just MIA — it starts to look like one was never called!

Yes, for longer than he may really have liked, Shi-Shi had to deal with the trials and tribulations of being a normal person, not a famous actor!

LOLz! We're totally kidding.

Shia is 100% still famous no matter how much he denies it!

The actor, who is definitely not retiring, goes on an epic adventure around the airport to try and find his driver to no avail, until, finally the driver emerges!

Except — awkward — Shia has to follow the driver on ANOTHER long walk through the parking complex to the drivers car!

Man, all Shi-Shi needs is a hobbit and a dragon to fight and he could be reenacting the Desolation of Smaug: LAX Edition!

LOLz!!

Ch-ch-check out the crazy walk (above)!!!!

[Video via PCN.]

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Justin Bieber's Retirement Tweet Was Also Just A Joke! Calm Down, Beliebers!

Filed under: Business BlitzJustin Bieber

justin bieber not retiring joke

Oh dear, Justin Bieber!

You've got to stop stressing out all your devoted Beliebers!

After the Biebs announced his retirement during an interview last week, he then went on to tease it again on Twitter on Christmas Eve!

And that's when fans lost it because TWO statements of retirement make it seem awfully for realz!

But fear not, Perezcious readers — the Biebs is not hanging up his swagger just yet! An insider confirmed that the Biebs was just trying to make a point with his Yuletide message, saying:

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Justin Bieber Is NOT Retiring From Music?! Get The Real Deets Inside His Admission HERE!

Filed under: Music MinuteJustin BieberGIFs

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We knew he wasn't actually done with creating delightful ear candy…

Right?!

After Justin Bieber was caught on tape admitting he was retiring from music after his next album, an insider is revealing it's complete BS!

The source close to Bieberoni explained that fans of his delish jams and seksi bod have nothing to worry about:

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Johnny Weir Is Officially Retiring — But Not Disappearing!

Filed under: TV NewsSad SadJohnny WeirOlympics

johnny weir retired russia olympics

Noooooo! The end has come!

Johnny Weir is OFFICIALLY retiring, but that's not the last we've seen of the 29-year-old figure skater!

He JUST announced his retirement on the TODAY show, and we're strangely fine with it…. because he then shared his plans to work with NBC at the 2014 Sochi Olympics!!

Russia's anti-gay laws be damned!!

Here's what he said:

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