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Russians Lose Freaky Zero-G Lizard Sex Satellite! Could This Mean The End Of The Universe As We Know It??

Filed under: Tech TalkScience!SexSpace!CrazzzzylizardsGIFs

russian sex lizards lost in space gravity jurassic parkHouston Moscow, we have a problem.

Right now, hundreds of miles above us, there's some freaky lizard sex going down. Zero gravity style.

Apparently a Russian "science" satellite, the Foton-M4 research satellite, which was launched on July 19th, is no longer responding to commands from mission control.

The Russian sex lizards have gone rogue!

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Beyoncé, Jay Z, Kanye West, Rihanna, & Chris Brown SuedFor $2.4 Billion! Yes, BILLION! Find Out Why HERE!

beyonce jay z drunk in love opening grammys

This music-related conspiracy theory is even less likely than the Paul McCartney death rumor!

Richard Dupree, a prisoner in California, just filed suit against Beyoncé, Jay Z, Kanye West, Rihanna, and Chris Brown for, get this, $2.4 billion!

Yes, you read that correctly - no need to go to the department of corrections for your eyesight!

But why? What case could one prisoner have against the most successful musicians of today?

Richard is claiming that Jay and Bey have been

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Little Boots' Satellite Is Out Of This World!!! Watch The New Video HERE!

Ah-mazing!!!

Little Boots' new video has us feeling like we're truly floating in space!!!

We told you the brilliant Brit's sophomore album Nocturnes was destined for awesomeness, and this is all the proof we need!!

Ch-ch-check out the totally engrossing electro-pop experience (above)!!!

Yes!!! Our hearts overfloweth with awesomeness!!!

We suspect Satellite will continue orbiting our eardrums all month long!!!

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NASA Finds Elephant On Mars! Sorta!

elephant-on-mars-web.jpg

Do U think this is an elephant?!

Similar to finding figures on the back of animals, cheeseburgers, and chicken nuggets, NASA has found Dumbo on MARS!

Due to lava flow on the Red Planet, a crater formation has the appearance of an elephant.

Scientists call this pareidolia, the case where you see bunnies in clouds and things of that nature.

Has anyone seen John Carter up there? We hear he's doing big things! LOLz!

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Unhappy Ending For Happy Feet

Filed under: Sad SadPenguin

Happy Feet

Sadsies.

The real-life story of Happy Feet, the lost penguin who ended up in New Zealand, might not have a happy ending after all.

As we previously mentioned, Happy Feet was a penguin from Antarctica who got really lost and ended up on a beach in New Zealand.

After recovering from extreme exhaustion, and some surgery to remove a few pounds of sand from his stomach (he mistook it for snow), the Zoo he was taken to fitted him with a tracking device and sent him on his way.

And now that tracking device has stopped sending a signal.

It was supposed to send a signal to a satellite every time he broke the surface of the water, but the tracker has been silent since
September 9th.

It is possible the tracker has fallen off… or that he’s been eaten.

Emperor penguins have natural predators like sharks, killer whales and seals, so it’s very possible he might not have made it back home.

The satellite company that was tracking him has released a statement, saying:

"A signal from the satellite transmitter that was attached to Happy Feet has not been received since Friday 9 September 2011, NZ time.

This leads to the conclusion that either the satellite transmitter has detached or an unknown event has prevented Happy Feet from resurfacing.

As we expect many people are, the team at Sirtrack are disappointed that we are unable to track Happy Feet's progress any further. We have enjoyed being part of this project and hope that Happy Feet is making his way home.”

Let’s hope Happy Feet just lost his tracking device and is already back home, sliding down the snowy slopes of Antarctica.

[Image via WENN.]

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