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Russians Lose Freaky Zero-G Lizard Sex Satellite! Could This Mean The End Of The Universe As We Know It??

Filed under: Tech TalkScience!SexSpace!CrazzzzylizardsGIFs

russian sex lizards lost in space gravity jurassic park

Houston Moscow, we have a problem.

Right now, hundreds of miles above us, there's some freaky lizard sex going down. Zero gravity style.

Apparently a Russian "science" satellite, the Foton-M4 research satellite, which was launched on July 19th, is no longer responding to commands from mission control.

The Russian sex lizards have gone rogue!

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Beyoncé, Jay Z, Kanye West, Rihanna, & Chris Brown SuedFor $2.4 Billion! Yes, BILLION! Find Out Why HERE!

beyonce jay z drunk in love opening grammys

This music-related conspiracy theory is even less likely than the Paul McCartney death rumor!

Richard Dupree, a prisoner in California, just filed suit against Beyoncé, Jay Z, Kanye West, Rihanna, and Chris Brown for, get this, $2.4 billion!

Yes, you read that correctly - no need to go to the department of corrections for your eyesight!

But why? What case could one prisoner have against the most successful musicians of today?

Richard is claiming that Jay and Bey have been

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Little Boots' Satellite Is Out Of This World!!! Watch The New Video HERE!

Ah-mazing!!!

Little Boots' new video has us feeling like we're truly floating in space!!!

We told you the brilliant Brit's sophomore album Nocturnes was destined for awesomeness, and this is all the proof we need!!

Ch-ch-check out the totally engrossing electro-pop experience (above)!!!

Yes!!! Our hearts overfloweth with awesomeness!!!

We suspect Satellite will continue orbiting our eardrums all month long!!!

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NASA Finds Elephant On Mars! Sorta!

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Do U think this is an elephant?!

Similar to finding figures on the back of animals, cheeseburgers, and chicken nuggets, NASA has found Dumbo on MARS!

Due to lava flow on the Red Planet, a crater formation has the appearance of an elephant.

Scientists call this pareidolia, the case where you see bunnies in clouds and things of that nature.

Has anyone seen John Carter up there? We hear he's doing big things! LOLz!

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Unhappy Ending For Happy Feet

Filed under: Sad SadPenguin

Happy Feet

Sadsies.

The real-life story of Happy Feet, the lost penguin who ended up in New Zealand, might not have a happy ending after all.

As we previously mentioned, Happy Feet was a penguin from Antarctica who got really lost and ended up on a beach in New Zealand.

After recovering from extreme exhaustion, and some surgery to remove a few pounds of sand from his stomach (he mistook it for snow), the Zoo he was taken to fitted him with a tracking device and sent him on his way.

And now that tracking device has stopped sending a signal.

It was supposed to send a signal to a satellite every time he broke the surface of the water, but the tracker has been silent since
September 9th.

It is possible the tracker has fallen off… or that he’s been eaten.

Emperor penguins have natural predators like sharks, killer whales and seals, so it’s very possible he might not have made it back home.

The satellite company that was tracking him has released a statement, saying:

"A signal from the satellite transmitter that was attached to Happy Feet has not been received since Friday 9 September 2011, NZ time.

This leads to the conclusion that either the satellite transmitter has detached or an unknown event has prevented Happy Feet from resurfacing.

As we expect many people are, the team at Sirtrack are disappointed that we are unable to track Happy Feet's progress any further. We have enjoyed being part of this project and hope that Happy Feet is making his way home.”

Let’s hope Happy Feet just lost his tracking device and is already back home, sliding down the snowy slopes of Antarctica.

[Image via WENN.]

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Rally To Restore Sanity Draws Over 200,000 People To D.C.!!

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Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity and Stephen Colbert's March to Keep Fear Alive drew almost 250,000 people to the National Mall in Washington D.C. on Saturday.

Appearing live on Comedy Central and on satellite broadcasts in 20 different cities, such as in Los Angeles, Chicago, Austin, and Boise, the three hour rally mostly consisted of satire and comedy with humorous sketches and surprise musical guests such as Kid Rock, Ozzy Osbourne, The Roots, Sheryl Crow, Tony Bennett, and Yusuf Islan, the former Cat Stevens.

However, it took a serious turn in the end when Jon Stewart made a speech saying these are "hard times, not end times."

He added:

"This was not a rally to ridicule people of faith or people of activism, or look down our noses at the heartland or passionate argument, or to suggest that times are not difficult and we have nothing to fear. They are and we do.

The image of Americans that is reflected back to us by our political and media process is false. [Americans hear] how fragile our country is, on the brink of catastrophe, torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done. The truth is, we do. We work together to get things done every damn day. The only place we don't is here or on cable TV."

Wow.

Did U go to the rally??

[Images via WENN.]

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Jon Stewart's Rally To Restore Sanity Coming To Los Angeles…Via Satellite

Filed under: Jon StewartPolitikStephen ColbertEvents

jon stewarts rally to restore sanity coming to los angeles via satellite

Those of us in Los Angeles who were seriously considering making the cross-country trip to Washington D.C. will now only have to travel downtown…a slightly more cost effective journey.

Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity will be broadcast at the Levitt Pavilion at MacArthur Park in downtown L.A. via satellite on Oct. 30.

The organizers of the Los Angeles version of the event, Amy Lee and Ashley Wright, are currently looking to secure comedians and entertainers for the three-hour rally. Here's what Lee had to say about it:

"We want Los Angeles to come out and represent as strongly as possible. We are looking for personalities — anybody who wants to come out and represent sanity in Los Angeles."

The Rally to Restore Sanity will be countered by Stephen Colbert's March to Keep Fear Alive. Sounds HIGHlarious!

Looks like there are many other satellite rallies in the works as well, in locations that include Seattle and Chicago.

We're SO pumped!

Will U be attending the rally or one of the satellite rallies?

[Image via WENN.]

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