Well, how comforting!
Instead of getting incoherently drunk, he probably just had lots of nasty sex with anonymous women! Because he doesn't have a problem with excess or anything, right?
This past week, Charlie Sheen somehow escaped jail and significant rehab time and made his way to the Playboy mansion to celebrate, but don't worry, folks, because according to pornstar Ron Jeremy, the scumbag stayed completely sober!
How nice! What an effort that must have been!
Oh well, we'll sure it will only be a matter of time before he falls off the wagon or pulls some other despicable shiz that will land him back in court!
[Image via WENN.]