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Ryan Kwanten Has Advice For You, Writing A Book About It!

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And he is writing it all down in a new book!

Ryan Kwanten from True Blood fame is in the midst of penning his own self-help book called The G-Strategy. Because of his grueling filming schedule (he's in the middle of True Blood and two movies) the book hasn't come far enough along to know exactly when it will come out - or even what it is really all about.

Ryan admits that the book is part self-help guide, part parody, depending on the reader, so he isn't quite sure how his team will market it. When asked if he would be taking aim on self-books that came before or the people who read them, Ryan admits:

“It’s actually both men and women, the self help books. Predominantly, with men, it’s more the finance type world. With those, you’ve got the Wall Street guys that lap up anything that is a chance to make a quick buck and then with the women, I guess it’s sort of the more — without being too generalized — sort of the more emotional sort of type stuff that’s gonna make you happy…I gave it to a couple of my friends and they’ve got back to me sort of a week or two later, saying, ‘Oh my God, Ryan! Were did you get [the book]. I didn’t tell them that I wrote it, and they got back to me a week or two later saying, ‘Oh my God! This is really helping me out.’ One of my friends said his sex life has never been better, they’ve just taken it as gospel.

Hold on there! Back up!

Is this a sex self-help book? Will there be visuals??? Will you pose for said visuals???? Could you get Alexander Skasgard to pose for a few as well???

If so, we'll take two dozen copies, please!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Girls With Low Self-Esteem: Jennifer Love Hewitt Edition

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Now that Jennifer Love Desperate and that crypt-keeper Jamie Kennedy have ended their beautiful romance, girlfriend is freaking out over the devastating realization that she is SINGLE and trying to promote a self-help book on relationships, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Desperate Hack Love-aholic!!

HA. We love cruel irony.

The saddest girl in the entire world says:

"Back in the shark tank! I never said in the book that I knew how to be in the perfect relationship. I say in my book I want to be the readers' kind spirit out in the dating world. And now, more than ever, I am. I don't like to go out to clubs and party. I'm not into 'Let's go out with one guy on a Monday and another guy on a Wednesday' – that's just not me. I'm a relationship kind of girl. I like a twosome. Some people get excited about being single. I don't."

We NOTICED. You'll date just about ANYTHING to avoid having to sleep alone at night, won't you??

HOWEVER, you can't deny that clutching your body pillow tonight will be a lot more comfortable than that mutant Kennedy!

Desperate is also wants us all to be comforted by how mature she and her ex are while they work together on her SHITEOUS show Ghost Whisperer.

"We've parted as friends. There's no anger, there's no upset, there's no enemies. It's been totally fine. It's really a testament to who he is and to who I am. We're both grown-ups."

HA. Yeah, we're sure it's sooo amicable.

Who wants to place bets on how long it takes before his character is horribly and violently killed off?

Girlfriend closes with:

"I want to be an independent woman who falls in love, finds a great partner for her lifetime, has kids and kind of does it all. I'd like to have it all."

Who else thinks that she, the Simpleton, and MANiston need to form a knitting circle??

They can all talk about their overbearing need to find self-worth and validation from douchebags!! Or all the freaky shiz John Mayer tried to make them do in bed!!

Bwa ha ha.

[Image via WENN.]

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