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Disgusting Teacher Who Fed Students Semen Cookies Pleads No Contest

semen cookie teacher pleads no contest to charges

He should be going away for a long time.

A former Los Angeles elementary school teacher has plead no contest to all charges, and is expected to be sentenced to 25 years in prison.

Mark Berndt, who worked at Miramonte Elementary School, was charged with blindfolding some of his students and spoon feeding them cookies that were laced with his semen.

This isn't the first time he's been accused of this kind of disgusting behavior. (You can read more about his past HERE!)

Most of the parents of the victimized students seemed to be happy with the deal - especially since

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Heather Locklear's Semen-ly Cheap Beauty Secret Revealed!

It's nature's BB cream!

During her appearance on Chelsea Lately, Heather Locklear joked that one of her best-kept beauty secrets is none other than semen!

Okay, perhaps, she was joking…suuuure…but who are we to judge a woman's most coveted beauty regime?

And, Heather DOES look fantastic at 51 years old, so if she isn't slathering sperm all over face, then she's definitely conjuring up some sort of concoction that may or may not include alien plasma, leprechaun tears, and the blood of a baby unicorn.

A lady never reveals her secrets!

Check out the HIGHlarious spluge bit (above)! It'll make you squirt tears of joy!

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If U Don't Like To Swallow Your Partner's Semen, U Can Now Mix It Into Drinks!! LOLz

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueSexSTDCrazzzzy

semen cocktails(1)
semen mojito(1)

Yeah, we're NOT lying!!!

Author Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer just finished writing his new semen cocktail cookbook, Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook, and while we automatically gagged when we saw the title, Photenhauer actually has a good reason as to why he put together his second book.

In the recipe manual, Paul teaches us how to create drinks using mint, zest, lemon and err… sperm. But just when we wanted to spit up our lunch, the author notes:

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Art School Student's Refrigerated Stash Of Semen Seized By School Officials! EW!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueFunny

marc johnson sperm art

If you're thinking about handing out your sperm to passersby, think again kids!

Innovative New York's School of Visual Arts MFA student, Marc Bradly Johnson, shot out inspiration from within for his thesis project—titled Take This Sperm and Be Free of Me— by filling up 68 vials of his own semen and refrigerating it for the school gallery, advertising it on Craigslist, and also giving it away to the public.

Sounds GROSSLY creative, right??? Well, school officials didn't seem to agree! The artwork was in fact seized after being determined a health and safety risk!

In complete and utter disbelief following the confiscation, Marc said:

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Britney Spears Knocked Up By K-Fed AGAIN?! They're Having A DEBT Baby!!

britney spears keven federline tax lein 37k 2004 busted

But first, let us reminisce…

2004 was a GREAT year for K-Fed and BritBrit!

Back then, the newlyweds' future looked so bright we had to wear shades!

Toxic and My Prerogative were chart-smashing successes for Britney Spears! Best of all, neither one of them was required to pay state taxes!

Ah, the laws in those days were much simpler!!

Uhh, wait

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Welcome To Glamorous World Of Show Dog Semen Collecting!

Feeling a change of scenery would be a good move for your career?

You could be a dog semen collector instead!

In the documentary, Show Dog, Josh Dean interviews a show dog semen collector.

If you're wondering what she does…she "manually manipulates" dogs into giving samples for breeders.

The point of the program is for zealous dog owners to keep their purebreds for generations.

But if you ask us, this job (above) is just too messy for us…

Messy…and icky!

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Good Day LA Reporter Hearts Semen Seamen!

Filed under: TV NewsOops!PerezTV

OK, we know she was talking about sailors of the sea… but we like to think there was a Freudian slip somewhere in there!

Plus, she should have KNOWN better than to say, "I love seamen"!

Watch the HIGHlarious clip (above) of the Good Day LA reporter confessing her fondness for nautical men…and perhaps other things of a more sexual nature.

The goods go down around the :10 mark.

Awesome … and HIGHlarious!

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