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Fifty Shades Of Sweaty, Seksy Capitalism!

Alexander Skarsgard Fifty Shades Merchandise

It's about time!

It shouldn't surprise anyone who can spell the phrase "cash cow" that E.L. James' is releasing FSoG themed outerwear, bedding, and intimate apparel to go with her novels!

Because what could possibly be creepier than getting your dad a Christian Grey inspired silk tie for Father's Day???

And why not??

Imagine if The Avengers released a sex-tape in which ScarJo was singing Call Me Maybe being repeatedly struck with Thor's "other" hammer… and multiply that by a thousand…

That's how popular the Fifty Shades books are right now!!

We just don't understand why merchandisers are stopping at underwear, journals, and keychains!?

Don't people really just crave the sex toys?? That's what the books are about, right?

Hot, sweaty, oozy drippy sexcapades?

What about

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