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U.S. Government Will FINALLY Reopen! House Republicans Caved & The #Shutdown Is OVER!

Filed under: Legal MattersPolitikBarack ObamaGIFs

federal government reopens congress ends shutdown president expected to sign bill

THE SHUTDOWN IS OVER!!

Minutes ago the U.S. Congress finally passed a bill which will end the government shutdown!!!

U.S. Senators passed the bill, House Speaker John Boehner finally allowed a vote in the House, it passed, & now all President Barack Obama has to do is sign it!

(He already said he would as soon as it hits his desk!)

This means the U.S. Government will re-open immediately and the debt ceiling is suspended until at least mid-January!

Woo hoo! Congress is finally paying it's bills!!

Furloughed employees can return to work!

Sad little boys will no longer be barred from experiencing the miracle that is panda!

NASA engineers will go back to performing secret alien autopsies at Area 51 staring at Uranus, LOLz!!

Now, here's the bad news…

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Sex Toy Company Gives Free Vibrators To Furloughed Gov't Employees! Get The Deets HERE!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TruePolitikSex

free vibrators federal employees government shutdown furloughed online sex

They can take our lives, but they'll never take our orrrrrgaasssssssmmms!

We have great news for chronic masturbators who are also furloughed federal employees!!! The government may be closed for business, but your vagina needn't be!

The good samaritans at Vibrators.com refuse to let the Congressional shutdown shut down the libidos of our favorite non-essential government workers!!!

They understand getting off on all this unpaid time off might be stressful because, really, it's hard to rationalize stocking up on batteries and shiny new dildos on a fixed income with no end in sight. So they're giving away 200 FREE vibrators every single day in an effort to provide these poor, jobless souls with at least a momentary distraction!!

Their site reads:

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Celebrities Voice Their Opposition On Twitter To Government Shutdown!

Filed under: Legal MattersPolitikBarack ObamaSad SadMario LopezEstelleTwitterPiers MorganJoJoRupaul

barack obama crying

Well, it actually happened. Talk about American politics inaction.

With Congress failing to reach a compromise on the budget, the government is officially shutdown, with 800,000 Americans being sent home without getting paid.

Seen by many as an attempt by Republicans to hold the American economy hostage in order dismantle Obamacare, the government shutdown could cost the nation $1 billion a week.

What a sad day for democracy!

Ch-ch-check out Hollywood's disappointed tweets…AFTER THE JUMP!!!

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Federal Government Manages To Spare Money For AIDS Funding Despite Nearly Shutting Down!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooPolitik

federal-government-spares-money-for-aids-funding-during-budget-disputes

Well, thank goodness for this!

As most know last week, our federal government almost shut down last week after disputes over budget could not be resolved, but luckily, due to the last-minute deal that avoided the crisis, funding for the AIDS Drug Assistance Program received a $48 million dollar increase!

According to the AIDS Institute, the money will provide treatment for the 8,000 people in the 11 states currently on the ADAP waiting list. However, with 30,000 people enrolling on the list throughout the year, this sadly means that about one in four people with the disease will get help!

We're grateful to hear that there's still a substantial amount of money going to this serious cause, but clearly, it's not enough! Our fingers are crossed that somehow our government can find a way to help EVERYONE, and continue to be able to fight this horrific disease!

It needs our attention! It needs EVERYONE'S attention!

[Image via AP Images.]

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