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RHONY's Simon Van Kempen Ejaculated All Over His Wife When She Gave Birth To Their Son

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And good night, everybody! We're officially done here.

No, but really. Let's just dive right into this…

We think we all know why Real Housewives of New York's Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord were fired from the show. Besides having a boring story line, they also

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Ex-NY Housewife Alex McCord Trying To Get A New Reality Series But Calls Real Housewives A Trainwreck Faux Reality Show!!

Filed under: Real HousewivesReality TV

alex mccord simon van der kemp based in brooklyn

Welp! Ya can't say she isn't determined!!

After the embarrassing firing from Real Housewives of New York, Alex McCord and hubby Simon van Kempen were said to have begged Andy Cohen for their spots back on the "trainwreck" show.

Obviously that was a big, fat FAIL! But they're not stoppin' there!!

Oh no, now they're apparently emailing friends with a new idea to get their own reality series on the air.

Calling Real Housewives a faux of a show, the email reads:

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RHONY's Simon And Alex Continue Their Tour Of Desperation, Kelly Finally Comments On Being Let Go!

Filed under: Sad SadReal HousewivesReality TV

Okay. This amount of desperation just went from sad and embarrassing to obnoxious and bizarre!

After Real Housewives of New York's recently fired Alex McCord and her husband, Simon Van Kempen, have been doing everything they can to get back on the reality series and subsequently denied, they decided to stamp their feet and give a completely WHACKED OUT, delusional interview to Good Morning America this morning!

Check it out (above)!

And don't miss the part where Simon cries! Yes. That happens.

Ugh. All the more reason we're happy to see them go.

They are just way too out there!

And speaking of…the much more watchable and kooky Kelly Bensimon has finally released a statement regarding her exit from the series, and kept it much more succinct, dignified, and thoughtful!

She writes:

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Alex McCord And Hubby Desperately Attempting To Get Back On Real Housewives Of New York!

Filed under: Sad SadReal HousewivesReality TV

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This is just getting sad. Time to let it go!

Although Alex McCord and her husband, Simon Van Kempen, were fired from the new season of The Real Housewives of New York City, the pair are apparently so desperate to stay on that they have planned to meet with boss Andy Cohen in a last-ditch attempt to stay on the reality series!

However, Andy has no intention of doing so, but - in probably a pity move - he apparently is willing to play nice and let them know that he'd like for them to make occasional guest appearances on the network!

The source explains:

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Real Housewives Of New York Husband Simon Van Kempen Records A Single, Unfortunately!

Wow. Please excuse us while we find some sort of crawl space for us to hide in. We need to cry this one out for a good 20 minutes.

In case Kim Zolciak, Countess LuAnn, and Danielle Staub's shrieking, hyena voices doused in auto-tune and despair weren't embarrassing enough for Real Housewives franchise, some HOrrific, cruel person decided to let the New York castmember Alex McCord's eccentric husband, Simon van Kempen, record his own single.

And yes, it's worse than you could have ever anticipated.

Ch-ch-check it out (above)…if you dare!

Yeah. Hopefully this will be the last time we ever really have to think about this…or those PANTS.

Geesh.

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