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Simpleton Loses Her Cookies For The Troops!

Filed under: Jessica SimpsonFitness

jessica simpson vomits and gets dehydrated while visiting troops in persian gulf

Kind of sad, mostly just gross!

Over the weekend, Jessica Simpson did her part to support the troops by visiting sailers aboard the USS Harry S. Truman. She had planned on performing a show for the men and women serving in the Persian Gulf, but from the moment she arrived, she realized she just wasn't feeling right.

Sources say that she planned on going on running on "three Red Bulls and no water" in 97 degree weather. Once she finally did eat something, the heat got to her and she felt even sicker!

Then things got icky!

Sources reveal that Simpleton made it through one song before dashing off stage to vomit! Gross! We're told that docs deems her dehydrated and quickly put her on an IV.

Poor baby! You've got to learnt to take better care of yourself, girl!

[Image via WENN.]

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Meet Jessica Simpson & Her Curves

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If you've ever wanted to see a non-airbrushed Jessica Simpson up close and personal, now's your chance.

Since the girl has nothing better to do, Simpleton will be hawking her massive Jessica Simpson Collection at various department stores in the upcoming months.

Here are the dates & deets:

New York City
September 15th, 7:30-9:30pm
Macy's Herald Square

Charlotte, NC
September 18th, 1-4pm
Belk, South Park Mall

Friendswood, TX
September 25th, 1-4pm
Dillard's, Baybrook Mall

Overland Park, KS
November 13th, 1-4pm
Dillard's, Oak Park Mall

Will U be going to meet Jessica???

[Image via WENN.]

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Simpleton Will Use "Normal" Models During NYFW

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Jessica Simpson is taking her curves to New York Fashion Week and she's bringing curvy models with her!

According to a Simpleton source:

"Jessica Simpson plans to unveil her latest collection for the media at New York Fashion Week in September, but there's a twist. Instead of using super-skinny models to showcase her designs, Jessica has decided to send her best friends - real women in real sizes - down the aisle."

We're not sure that's really a "twist", but it's a smart decision.

Can't wait to see all these so called friends of hers.

[Image via Getty Images.]

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Simpleton Embraces Her Curves

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Jessica Simpson wants you to know she's done being the perfect Barbie-type.

You don't say.

The former singer tells Lucky magazine that she's learning to live with her new curves and she's dressing it accordingly:

"I’m a huge Jean Paul Gaultier fan. His pieces make my waist look good. Yes, they’re an investment, but I’ll have them when I’m old and gray."

And even though she's not "skinny", she still wears skinny jeans.

Jess explains, "I like skinny jeans, but I wear them a bit baggy and lower on my hips and roll them up at the bottom."

Whatever floats your boat, Simpleton.

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Simpleton To Judge American Idol???

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No. No. NO!

Stop offering our job to everyone else BUT us!!!

Life & Style is reporting that Jessica Simpson is in negotiations to become the next judge on American Idol! Their sources say that she has already met with the producers and everyone really "likes" her. Now, it's just a matter of fitting her in.

Of course, her dad/manager Joe Simpson is thrilled by the idea and having a preexisting relationship with the show works in her favor.

Here's the thing. We actually think she would make an excellent replacement…for Paula Abdul. Think about it - they've had similar musical careers and they both have have similar, uhmmm, sensibilities.

We're getting a case of the giggles just thinking of the stoopid shiz that would come out of Jessipoop's mouth.

But the show needs a new Simon Cowell, not a new Paula.

Time is ticking away, Idol. You've got to get serious about this thing and start looking at those who are the most qualified.

Like PEREZ! PEREZ! PEREZ! PEREZ! PEREZ! PEREZ! PEREZ! PEREZ!

[Image via WENN.]

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Jessica's Ex Treated Her Like Poo!

Filed under: Jessica SimpsonLove Line

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Say what?

When Jeremy Renner had his fling with Jessica Simpson this past spring, an insider said he was a huge "dirtbag" to her during their relationship AND after!

Supposedly Jess went over to see him and the visit ended up being pretty "awkward" considering he had already moved on with another woman!

At least Simpleton has moved on to greener hotter pastures with Eric Johnson — even if he is using her for the ca$$$h!

[Image via WENN.]

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Is Jessica Simpson's New Beau Just Using Her?

Filed under: Jessica SimpsonLove Line

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She is usually unlucky in love!

Jessica Simpson has been dating Eric Johnson for the past two months and it appears that the unemployed football player might be using Simpleton for her money!

Not only did he go on vacation with her to Capri where they stayed in a $3,000 per night hotel suite, sailed on a $5,000 per day chartered yacht and dined at fancy restaurants all over town, but he's also living in her $5 million mansion in Redwood, California!

A source reveals:

"Jessica is so starved for love, she just doesn't see any of Eric's faults. She's been paying for everything in their relationship, and it doesn't seem like Eric intends to stop that anytime soon."

Smart guy, ha!

But will Jess catch on??

[Image via XposurePhotos.com.]

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