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Ke$ha Supports Animal Rights, Is Still Nasty

Filed under: Icky Icky PooKe$ha

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How the eff does she take something completely lovely and simple - perhaps even admirable - and make it nasty and trashy?

That horrific swamp skank Ke$ha wants the world to know that she supports animal rights, but of course she expresses it in the grossest way possible.

She explains:

"I just love animals, and I'm an advocate for animals' rights, and my family has rescued dogs from all over the world. I don't believe in animal testing. If you see me in fur, it's always fake. Sometimes you see me wearing skulls, but those are all from roadkill."

Barf and BARF.

That being said, we think roadkill animal skulls would be super seksi, bb - just make sure to accessorize it with another pearl necklace!

Bwa ha ha.

[Image via WENN.]

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Homewrecker Got Paid BIG TIME For Celebrity Rehab Appearance!

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Are you kidding? Was she seriously THAT in demand?

Sources close to the production of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew claimed that professional homewrecker and slam pig Rachel Uchitel originally turned down an offer to appear on the reality show, but producers bumped up her paycheck to $500,000 so she'd agree to be treated for her addiction to sleeping with married men pills!

WTF?

Well, we suppose girl's gotta do something to stay relevant! Looks like they offered more to her than The Donald!

Horrific.

Thoughts?? Who do U think she's going to try and fuck in the Celebrity Rehab house?

Our money is on crackhead Jeremy London!

[Image via WENN.]

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Losers Unite!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsMichael Lohan

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We knew when we heard these two were together that there was going to be trouble…

Now that Lindsanity will be behind bars where she belongs, Michael Lohan obviously needs some horrible slam pig one to leech on to so he can continue famewhoring and being an all around douchey scumbag!

Of course, it's no surprise that to do so, he's chosen to collaborate with not only his gutter troll fiance, Kate Major, but Rachel Uchitel and Homewrecking Hailey on a television show!

Kate Major reveals:

“Rachel is going to be helping us out with our TV show that we’re working on for the month of August. Rachel befriended me on Facebook because she is mutual friends with our manager David Weintraub. It’s going to be a live interactive show set at our house in New York. There are four different charity events and all the proceeds will be going to charity.”

So we're going to have to endure a TV series of not only Homewrecking Hailey getting fucked up and passing out in plants, Michael Lohan being Michael Lohan (that's bad enough), but the inevitable cat fight that will go down after Kate realizes that Rachel is having sex with him?!

We think we'll pass.

What do U think?? Do U want to watch all these losers unite to terrorize TV?

[Image via WENN.]

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Elin Says 'No, No, No' To Masters!

Filed under: ZportzLove LineTiger Woods

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Good! Don't let him off the hook yet, bb!

Tiger Woods' return to golf is scheduled for next week when he plays in the Masters, and despite the media shifting of attention to his fellow partner in douchebaggery, Jesse James, one person has NOT forgotten about the golfer's laundry list of hookers: his wife, Elin.

Tiger's people are apparently desperate to get Elin to be at the tournament, smile and pretend like she supports Woods, but girlfriend is playing hardball and isn't doing anything she doesn't want to do! Kudos!!

A source says:

"Elin does not want to go to the Masters and is preparing for a trip to see her family and friends in Sweden. She is also being asked by Tiger to attend the Masters, even if for a half day, to look like she is interested in supporting his return to golf. But she would rather not be there."

We still think she should have gotten those divorce papers signed and ready the day slam pig #1 appeared, but we have to give Elin credit for standing her ground and not giving Tiger a break!

He definitely DOES NOT deserve one!!

[Image via AP Images.]

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The "True Mistress" Of Tiger Woods Is Announced!!

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Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!!

Jamie Jungers has taken home the crown as "The True Mistress" of Tiger Woods, a title Howard Stern awarded the gutter troll during his Mistress Beauty Pageant this morning!!

Jungers took home $75,000 for her clASSy and ladylike charms, AKA exposing the size of Tiger's peen and what he wanted her to do in bed.

The runner-up and winner of a $15,000 prize was Jaimee Grubbs.

Congratulations, ladies!!

Continue setting such a fine example for young girls everywhere!!

[Image via WENN.]

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