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Python Emerges From Man's Toilet & Bites Him On The D*ck! THE NIGHTMARE IS REAL!!!

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That's okay, we never wanted to go to the bathroom again anyway…

A man is recovering in the hospital after being attacked by a python that swam up through the toilet he was using in his Thailand home!

The nightmarish bathroom incident continued as the 11-foot snake sank its fangs into Atthaporn Boonmakchuay's penis — and wouldn't let go!

Related: Man Arrested For Throwing Python At Customers In Sushi Restaurant!

According to reports, the man called for his wife to get a rope and was able to tie the monstrous reptile's head to the bathroom door. He managed to wrangle himself free before passing out from blood loss.

Now hospitalized, the man has full memory of the event — telling reporters he carefully unhinged the snake's jaws because he "did not want to risk permanent damage" to his own snake.

Rescue workers took apart the toilet and were able to set the python back into the wild alive — and we hope it stays the f*ck away from any more sewage pipes.

Ch-ch-check out the unsettling video of the workers trying to take the snake out of the toilet!

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Singer Performs 45 Minutes After Being Bitten By Snake Before Collapsing And Dying!

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This is so incredibly sad.

Recently, pop star Irma Bule was performing in Karawang, West Java, Indonesia when she brought out a cobra named Rianti.

Related: Man Arrested For Throwing A Python At Customers!

The singer is famous for bringing out snakes on stage, so this concert was no different.

During her second song, Bule accidentally stepped on the cobra's tail who retailated by biting her thigh!

Even though she was bit, she continued to perform for 45 minutes before collapsing in front of the audience.

Reportedly, Irma refused to take an antidote from the snake handler, but eventually began vomiting and suffered a seizure.

She was taken to the hospital where she died.

To see the shocking footage, ch-ch-check out the clip (below)

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Yikes! An 8-Foot-Long King Cobra Is On The Loose In Florida!

Look out for that snake!

We're not sure how it's possible to lose an eight-foot-long snake, but it's happened, folks!

A massive male king cobra escaped from his home in Orlando, Florida yesterday, and there's still no sign of him!

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said the gigantic reptile was reported missing on Wednesday, but no one has been able to track him down!

[ Video: This Duck Vine Is Destroying Miley & Kanye's VMAs Moments! ]

The scary part is that the snake's home isn't too far from a local elementary school!

However, officials said they were going to beef up patrol in the area, in order to protect any children walking to and from the building.

The school also did not hold outdoor recess on Thursday.

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Kourtney Kardashian Pulls A Britney Spears And Poses With A Burmese Python — But Who Did It Better?!

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Get. It. Kourtney Kardashian!

Girlfriend could totally give Britney Spears a run for her money — if she wanted to, of course! LOLz!

The hot momma of three posed with a yellow Burmese python around her body on her fabulous vacation in Mexico last weekend.

It's SO reminiscent of Brit-Brit back in 2001 at the VMAs, don't you think??

[ Related: Scott Disick Gives Kourtney A Lift, If You Know What We Mean ]

The family's bestie, Joe Francis shared the snap of Kourt on his Instagram on Wednesday evening:

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Will Ferrell Honors St. Patrick's Day By Saving New Yorkers From Snakes With His Snakey Version Of Danny Boy On Letterman!

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Will Ferrell is easily one of the funniest human beings on the planet.

Will loves NY and all the people in it, so that's why he puts his life in harm's way every St. Patrick's Day!

He dresses up in his most serious leprechaun outfit and warns New Yorkers about the dangers of snakes!

The real St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland so in that spirit, Will replaced the lyrics of Danny Boy with a more snake-related message, for his "youth program." Ha!

[ Related: Will Ferrel Plays Baseball To Fight Cancer! ]

Check out the video (below) to hear Will's melodious snake warning on Letterman!

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Discovery's Eaten Alive Should've Been Called Awww: Squeezed Just A Little! The Snake Is Totally Fine — And The Guy? He's…

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Talk about good marketing!

There's no such thing as bad publicity, and Discovery certainly knows it.

So when their special program Eaten Alive stirred up controversy, they sat back and let the free advertisement roll in.

That's because naturalist Paul Rosolie was supposed to be eaten alive by an actual anaconda snake. Sure, he'd have a special suit, but real danger was always present.

Well the show aired and it turns out Rosolie got

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Discovery Channel Plans To Air Man Being Eaten Alive By Anaconda! You Know, For Science!

Filed under: TV NewsPETAScary!Slithering SnakesDisgusting!Crazzzzy

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Paul Rosolie is a wildlife expert and filmmaker who loves mother earth so much, he's willing to literally become one with nature…

By being eaten alive by an anaconda!!

Well, not fully eaten. He's going to be wearing a special suit that should keep him protected from the snake's crushing strength, sharp teeth and powerful stomach acid.

So, how does Rosolie plan to pull off this stunt? He said:

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