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Islamic Extremist Threatens To Kill David Letterman For Being Jewish…Even Though He Isn't.

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Okay, WHAT?!

We're aware that most hate comes hand-in-hand with ignorance, but this is especially STOOPID!

An internet jihadist named Umar al Basrawi has apparently called upon American Muslims via an on-line Islamic jihadist forum to kill David Letterman!

According to the post:

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AGAIN?! Chezza Re-Dumps Ashley After He's Caught With ANOTHER Woman!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooZportzLove LineSad SadCheryl Cole

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Just SHOCKING!

Or, you know, not at all.

Despite reports that Cheryl Cole was reconciling with her ex-husband, Ashley, the singer has allegedly called round two of their romance off - because he's cheated on her AGAIN.

According to a source:

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Bruce Willis Shows His Irrelevance

Filed under: TV NewsBruce WillisSilly!David LettermanLady GaGa

Jokes over, buddy! (Much like your career!)

Bruce Willis was on David Letterman last night promoting his new movie Red and decided he was going to be, um, funny, we guess.

He wore a meat hat or some shiz, mocking Lady GaGa's meat dress from A MONTH ago!

Overplayed!

Check out the lameness above!

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Snooki's Man Caught In A Strip Club With Porn Stars!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLove LineSnookiReality TV

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We knew this guy was a tool! WE KNEW IT!

Now that our most beloved Snooki Snickers has realized that her latest dumbass man Jeff Miranda is a disgusting famewhore using her for publicity, the two are apparently cooling down their beautiful romance.

But instead of the asshat attempting to win her back, he's running around strip clubs and doing nasty shiz with porn stars!

Sources claim they saw Miranda at the Sapphire Gentleman's Club in NYC, getting all sorts of nasty with porn star Savanna Samson and Penthouse Pet Anju McIntyre!

Insiders say:

“Miranda did little to resist and was seen canoodling with Samson after the show. It got ugly!”

BLECK.

And of course, since this moron can't keep his mouth shut to the press for two seconds, he says:

“Look, people are trying to hate. They're trying to ruin things [between us]. These accusations are false. All I want is to be happy. Nicole is a sweet girl. She considers everyone else first before she thinks of herself. I care about her a lot. Due to confidentiality, I can not talk anymore about my relationship with Nicole at this time. That may change but for now I can't make any further comments about Nicole or anyone else on the show.”

Yeah. SUUUURE. Until no one's interested in your stoopid ass - then it will be "what confidentiality?"

UGH. Stay AWAY from him, Snooks! This guy is vile!

Thoughts??

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Dr. Douche Is A Chronic Quitter!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsHoward Stern

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We're not surprised - she's pretty much a spineless bitch, anyway!

As we've reported, Dr. Laura Schlessinger revealed that after using the N-word ELEVEN TIMES last week on her radio show last week, she would not be renewing her contract.

Apparently, this isn't the first time this worthless trash has pulled a similar stunt. Back in 1999, CBS offered Dr. Douche her own talk show. One of her terms for signing on, however, was that CBS keep Howard Stern from talking shiz about her!

Seriously, you idiot? What about that first amendment right you rambled on about in your defense? Or does it say somewhere that freedom of speech is only exclusively for your stoopid ass?

Obviously, CBS refused to accommodate that psycho, so she quit!

What a commendable work ethic! You should be so proud!

BARF.

[Image via WENN.]

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Time To Shut Up, Bristol!

Filed under: Sarah PalinLevi Johnston

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Here's the thing about Bristol Palin we think everyone should start to recognize:

Bitch is as big a fame-whore as effing Levi Johnston!

Face it, people! She got together with him for the publicity and now she broke up with for the publicity. She's doing interviews all over town, while her baby is probably off somewhere being raised by his uncle, Trig.

In a "new" interview, Bristol told sources that she considers herself "naive" to believe Levi was ready to settle down.

Translation - She was stoopid and didn't listen to her mother when Sarah Palin told her to get the whole fake-marriage-for-a-reality-show-thing put in a contract and signed in blood.

Then, Bristol goes on to say:

"I see that Levi's people equate me with a Bridezilla. This is not about me. This was about doing what was best for Tripp and making us a family."

Translation: "I wanted water lilies in the centerpieces, but Levi said they were out of season. I told him he was out of my vajayjay and he walked."

Seriously girl, you need to shut up now. No one cares if you had married him or that you're not. You're not getting any sympathy from America - just a continued dose of malice!

[Image via AP Images.]

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Drunk Woman Calls 911 Looking For A Date!

Filed under: YouTube

Actually, it kind of is in your case. You just dialed the wrong number!

A drunk woman in Cincinnati was caught ON TAPE desperately calling 911 four times for help.

Her emergency? Not having a date.

Huh. Can't imagine why that would be so difficult for her!

Check out the tape of her sad, sad story above!

And by sad, we mean HIGHlarious!!!

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