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A Very Conan Commencement

Filed under: Conan O'Brien

Oh man! What we wouldn't give to be present for THIS!

Dartmouth College announced this morning that Conan O'Brien will be giving the commencement address to the school's graduating class of 2011!

Check out the announcement from Eric Tanner, Dartmouth's Student Body President (above)!

Apparently, the funnyman normally turns down these types of invitations, but because the college's President, Jim Kim, was a former student of O'Brien's father, Harvard University professor Thomas O'Brien, he agreed.

He says in a statement:

"I was honored to to be asked to give the commencement address to Dartmouth's graduating class of 2011, until I found out their first choice was Pauly D."

AMAZING!

Lucky ducks! We hope you guys realize what a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity this one is!

Happy graduation, guys!

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Homophobic Assistant Attorney General Fired For Harassing/Stalking Gay College Student!

homophobic-assistant-attorney-general-andrew-shirvell-fired-for-harassing-gay-student-chris-armstrong

Excellent! That man had NO business being in the position that he was!

Andrew Shirvell, the Michigan assistant state attorney general who recently came under fire for relentlessly harassing University of Michigan student body president Chris Armstrong because of his sexual preference, was let go this afternoon for not only his behavior, but for lying to investigators during his disciplinary hearing!

Attorney General Mike Cox explained in a statement that Shirvell was fired for "conduct unbecoming a state employee, especially that of an assistant attorney general," and continued:

"To be clear, I refuse to fire anyone for exercising their First Amendment rights, regardless of how popular or unpopular their positions might be. However, Mr. Shirvell repeatedly violated office policies, engaged in borderline stalking behavior, and inappropriately used state resources, our investigation showed. The cumulative effects of his use of state resources, harassing conduct that is not protected by the First Amendment, and his lies during the disciplinary conference all demonstrate adequate evidence of conduct unbecoming a state employee. Ultimately, Mr. Shirvell's conduct has brought his termination from state service."

According to the investigation, Shirvell:

- Showed up at Armstrong's home three separate times, including once at 1:30 a.m. "That incident is especially telling because it clearly was about harassing Mr. Armstrong, not engaging in free speech," the statement said.
- "Engaged in behavior that, while not perhaps sufficient to charge criminal stalking, was harassing, uninvited and showed a pattern that was in the everyday sense, stalking."
- Harassed Armstrong's friends as they were socializing in Ann Arbor.
- Called Speaker Nancy Pelosi's office, Armstrong's employer, in an attempt to "slander Armstrong and ultimately attempting to cause Pelosi to fire Armstrong.
- Attempted to "out" Armstrong's friends as homosexual — several of whom aren't gay.

Absolutely unbelievable!

This man doesn't just need to be fired - he needs to be put away somewhere!

However, we're happy that justice was served and hopefully now Shirvell will leave that poor kid alone! So unfair!

Good riddance, we say!

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