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Cocaine Photo Will Not Be Used Against Lindsanity In Court!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanDrugsLegal MattersBusted!

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Lucky break!

A spokesperson for the LA County DA has confirmed that although there's pretty much no question at this point that Lindsanity LOLhan was caught on camera with a tray of blow next to her, there's no way they can use it against her in court on Monday because technically, no one can prove what the powder actually was.

Not that the DA has anything to really worry about - they don't need the photo to prove that she's a fucking disaster, she does that all on her own!

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

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Lindsay Never Reported Her Passport Missing To French Authorities.

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Not that this will come as a surprise to anyone, but…

Despite her lawyer's bullshit claims this morning during her court hearing, French authorities are confirming that Lindsay Lohan NEVER filed a police report with them regarding her allegedly 'stolen' passport!

Maybe because it was never stolen??

Way to go, bb! There's no coming back from this fuck-up!

[Image via WENN.]

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Sluttyienna Converts To Kabbalah?!

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Oh, good! Now you can add fame to your already-in-place 'whore' title!

Sluttyienna Miller, who is once again exchanging STDs with Jude Law, is also apparently the latest psuedo-hipster celebrity to jump on the Kabbalah bandwagon!

Sources claim that Miller has been spotted out and about wearing the trademark red bracelet that symbolizes one is a follower of the Jewish mysticism.

They say:

“Sienna has joined Kabbalah and started wearing the red bracelet. She certainly seems fascinated, and with so many famous devotees, joining won’t do her career any harm either.”

Oh good! Converting religions to get attention from Madonna and Goopy Gwyneth!

Way to go, Slutty! This is even a bigger life fail than getting back together with your douchey, cheating ex-boyfriend!

LOLz!

[Image via WENN.]

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Pretty Wild Star Is Going To Jail!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooBusted!

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Probably the smartest thing this tramp has ever done!

Pretty Wild star and Bling Ring dumbass Alexis Neiers was in court this morning for her involvement with the gang of celebrity thieves, and pled no contest to her shameless theivery!

The twit just landed herself in prison for 180 days and three years felony probation! She also must stay away from our beloved Orly and his house, from which she originally stole $600,000 worth of his belongings!

Have fun in jail, bb!

[Image via WENN.]

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Orly To Testify Against The Bling Ring!

Filed under: Legal MattersOrlando Bloom

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Watch out, you horrible little thief! Orly is coming for that ass!

Next week, that Pretty Wild gutter troll Alexis Neiers will be on trial for her involvement in the infamous Bling Ring, which, if you recall, was made up of those dumb teenagers who broke into celebrity homes in the Hollywood Hills and stole a bunch of shiz that didn't belong to them.

Well, we hope for her sake that she's too STOOPID to have a guilty conscious, because we're hearing that one of the victims of her shameless thievery, Orlando Bloom, will be making an appearance in court to TESTIFY against her!

Ouch! Would you imagine how mortifying it would be to have to stare that beautiful man in the face and know that you took a bunch of his stuff??

We're sure she'll just be an indignant little bitch and sulk the entire time. She's awful!

Take the shame, you twit!

You are fucked!

[Image via WENN.]

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Spencer Pratt Laughs At His Mother-In-Law's Financial Woes!

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Oh no!

The Real Heidi Doll's mom, Darlene Egelhoff, is facing foreclosure on an undeveloped piece of property she owns in Colorado!

Apparently, she took out a $189,000 loan in 2006, and still owes $187,835.62!

She's paid less than $2,000 back in four years?? GEESH.

We'd like to think that her famous for being famous twit of a daughter would help her out, but when Momma Montag's douchebag son-in-law, Spencer Pratt, heard the news, he said:

"If that's true … that is the best news I’ve heard all day long."

Lovely. That's how you really strengthen those familial ties, bb!! Laugh openly at your wife's mother's misfortunes!

Dick!

[Image via WENN.]

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Guess Who's Playing Bat Mitzvahs Now?!

Filed under: Oops!Ke$ha

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HA!

The swamp thing otherwise known as Ke$ha was apparently misled into thinking that she was performing at some little rich girl's Sweet 16, when in reality, it was a 13 year old's bat mitzvah!

LOL!

Who would want her to perform at their child's religious rite of passage??

Sources claim that the gutter troll was paid a whopping $50,000 to perform two songs, but was misinformed about the details of the party so she would agree to do it!

An insider says:

"Everyone flips. Then Ke$ha wishes the girl a happy Sweet 16, and people clap, but with puzzled looks on their faces. It's not her Sweet 16. It's her bat mitzvah."

Whatevs. No need to be embarrassed!

You better get used to doing those kind of gigs, bb, because they're the only jobs you're going to land once your career tanks!

[Image via WENN.]

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