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The Church Of Scientology Vs. South Park

Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsTom Cruise

church of scientology vs south park

Those are some IN-TENSE enemies you've got there, South Park! Hell, pretty soon they're going to have their own Super Power Building!

We were seriously creeped out to learn that the Church of Scientology reportedly launched an investigation against South Park through "informants, public records, and various other means" in an effort to search for "vulnerabilities" in Trey Parker and Matt Stone's lives. WTF?!?

Even though the Church wasn't able to do any serious damage to the South Park creators and their show, they WERE able to get the Scientology-themed episode Trapped in the Closet taken off the air.

How did they pull that off, you might ask? Tom Cruise allegedly refused to promote Mission: Impossible III if the episode was EVER aired on Comedy Central as a re-run.

Here's what Trey and Matt wrote in response:

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Church Of Scientology Builds Training Center Designed To Give Super Powers!

Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Scientology Super Power Building

Designed to awaken members' super powers, the Church of Scientology is putting their finishing touches on the The Super Power Building.

This will be the place to go if you want to enhance any of your 57 perceptics (powers that scientologists claim to possess).

A spokesman for the Church states:

[Super Power training is] a series of spiritual counseling processes designed to give a person back his own viewpoint, increase his perception, exercise his power of choice, and greatly enhance other spiritual abilities.

Created within the mind of founder L. Ron Hubbard himself, he claimed this energy mecca would:

…put scientologists into a new realm of ability enabling them to create the new world. It puts the world clearing within reach in the future.

Yeah, whatever that means…

The Super Power Building has cost $90 million to make. The futuristic castle of gyms boasts 889 rooms, NASA-esque training equipment, 42 bathrooms, a dining room that seats 1,140, and an outdoor terrace that would put even the Titanic to shame.

So we guess we'll be seeing Tom Cruise in the sky soon enough, huh? HA!

OH! Bee tee dub! This thing is in Florida!

WTF!?! How much will the Hollywood followers have to fly back and forth til they become superheroes???

[Image via WENN.]

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