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Losers Unite!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsMichael Lohan

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We knew when we heard these two were together that there was going to be trouble…

Now that Lindsanity will be behind bars where she belongs, Michael Lohan obviously needs some horrible slam pig one to leech on to so he can continue famewhoring and being an all around douchey scumbag!

Of course, it's no surprise that to do so, he's chosen to collaborate with not only his gutter troll fiance, Kate Major, but Rachel Uchitel and Homewrecking Hailey on a television show!

Kate Major reveals:

“Rachel is going to be helping us out with our TV show that we’re working on for the month of August. Rachel befriended me on Facebook because she is mutual friends with our manager David Weintraub. It’s going to be a live interactive show set at our house in New York. There are four different charity events and all the proceeds will be going to charity.”

So we're going to have to endure a TV series of not only Homewrecking Hailey getting fucked up and passing out in plants, Michael Lohan being Michael Lohan (that's bad enough), but the inevitable cat fight that will go down after Kate realizes that Rachel is having sex with him?!

We think we'll pass.

What do U think?? Do U want to watch all these losers unite to terrorize TV?

[Image via WENN.]

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Travis McCoy Joins Rihanna's Struggling Tour!

Filed under: RihannaMusic MinuteTravis BarkerNicki MinajKe$ha

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We doubt this will help the poor ticket sales, but…

Gym Class Heroes frontman and Katy Perry's jilted former boytoy Travis McCoy has been invited to replace Nicki Minaj supporting Rihanna on the road with the Swamp Thing otherwise known as Ke$ha for their Last Girl On Earth tour!

The trio will kick off the festivities on July 2nd in Auburn, Washington!

That is, if they can sell enough seats!

What do U think?? Is Travis a worthy addition to the Last Girl On Earth tour??

[Image via WENN.]

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Guess Who's Playing Bat Mitzvahs Now?!

Filed under: Oops!Ke$ha

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HA!

The swamp thing otherwise known as Ke$ha was apparently misled into thinking that she was performing at some little rich girl's Sweet 16, when in reality, it was a 13 year old's bat mitzvah!

LOL!

Who would want her to perform at their child's religious rite of passage??

Sources claim that the gutter troll was paid a whopping $50,000 to perform two songs, but was misinformed about the details of the party so she would agree to do it!

An insider says:

"Everyone flips. Then Ke$ha wishes the girl a happy Sweet 16, and people clap, but with puzzled looks on their faces. It's not her Sweet 16. It's her bat mitzvah."

Whatevs. No need to be embarrassed!

You better get used to doing those kind of gigs, bb, because they're the only jobs you're going to land once your career tanks!

[Image via WENN.]

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Ke$ha Reveals How She REALLY Smells

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Ugh. We assumed she smelled RANK but this is worse than we could have ever imagined!

The swamp thing otherwise known as Ke$ha will be terrorizing Ryan Phillippe and the cast of Saturday Night Live this weekend when she 'performs' on the sketch comedy show, but she will not be pleased unless she slithers her way into one of the skits!

BARF!

Worse yet, she's even got her own ideas for her first intentional comedic debut:

"I have some ideas. I don't know … it hasn't been confirmed or denied yet if I'll appear in a sketch, so I can't say for sure. But I would love to do something funny. But one idea was someone recently told me I smell like shrimp in a diaper, so I thought I could do a perfume skit about me with my eau de perfume being a shrimp in a diaper. It's very sensual."

Thanks, Ke$ha.

You have once again traumatized us beyond repair!

It must be hard to smell worse than you look, but somehow you manage!

[Image via WENN.]

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McGee's Roommate Spills The Deets On Jesse James Affair!!

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We bet they thought they were a regular Kate and Leo. Too bad the ship didn't sink with them on it!!

Lindsay Sinai, who is Michelle "Bombshell" McGee's former roommate, is spilling the deets on the swamp donkey's affair with douchebag Jesse James, and claims the gruesome twosome got nasty on the Queen Mary in Long Beach!

She also gives a lot of insight into what went on during their trysts:

"Their relationship was more like a friendship. Nothing was ever said about a future. Once she did realize [Bullock and James] were together, there was a lot of regret there. [McGee] friend-requested Jesse James [on MySpace] and he started writing her out of the blue. [Michelle] was like, 'Oh my God, Jesse James is writing me. Oh my God, Jesse James is calling me.' He said he wanted to hang out with her. She ended up driving up to the garage.

Right away he started texting, calling. It was just an on-and-off thing for quite sometime. It wasn't like an ongoing affair, not in a physical sense, the entire time. He's a biker, tattooed bad-boy. That's what she likes. Him and Sandra they don't really fit. She's way too good for him."

They met on MYSPACE? Seriously?

Whatevs. This chick got one thing right: Sandra IS too good for him!

We know it must be hard, but you're better off in the long run, bb!

[Image via WENN.]

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