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Man Posts Craigslist Ad Seeking Woman To Impregnate During Solar Eclipse & We're Pretty Sure He's A Vampire

Filed under: DrugsWacky, Tacky & TrueSex

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Ladies, your real life Edward Cullen has arrived. And he's ready to breed!

Stargazers nationwide are making special plans to see the rare total solar eclipse over Oregon. For one Craigslist poster, those plans include conceiving the "next level of human evolution."

An ad recently popped up in the "Activity Partners" section of the San Francisco Bay Area, and the title gets straight to the point, reading:

"Wanted woman who wants to conceive child during totality eclipse in OR"…

However, not to be too easy, the poster notes that the arrangement depends on the chemistry, as he has certain standards for the potential carrier of his eclipse child.

Related: Robert Pattinson Was Kicked Out Of School For Selling Porno Magazines!

The 40-year-old European man is looking for "a worthy female with strong genes, beauty and smarts" who is into astrology, nitrous oxide, and cats.

As for the poster, he claims to be quite the specimen himself! The eclipse enthusiast touts himself as:

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Twitter Erupts After Breitbart Editor Picks Feud With AMERICAN Vogue's Statue Of Liberty Cover!

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This dude SERIOUSLY has no chill!

As we reported, Vogue released four covers of its highly-anticipated September issue, where one features Jennifer Lawrence standing in front of the Statue of Liberty.

Unfortunately, not everyone is a fan of the Annie Leibovitz-shot portrait.

Related: Chelsea Manning Makes A Splash In Vogue!

On Thursday, John Carney — who runs Breitbart's finance and economics coverage — interpreted the cover as an attack on the right and their conservative ideals. He wrote:

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Drivers Flip Out After A Dead Body Falls Out Of Coroner's Van In The Middle Of Traffic!

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How horrifying!

On Monday, the doors came open on a coroner's van in Olympia, Washington, as it was returning from a pickup at a home — and a gurney carrying a dead body rolled out into the street!

Motorists were understandably shocked by the awful scene, including a woman named Sydney Fox, who captured the moment on her phone — apparently because she just didn't know what else to do.

Related: Man Fatally Shot After Defending Gay Friends From Homophobe

Police eventually arrived on scene to reroute traffic and contact the coroner's office; the driver was long gone, completely unaware he had lost a body!

Thurston County Coroner Gary Warnock tells The Olympian an investigation is underway to determine whether the door wasn't locked properly by the driver — or if the van suffered from some mechanical failure.

See the video of the shocking moment, if you can stomach it (below)!

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ICYMI: Lil' Yachty Spaces FARRR Out In Painful Interview — But It Still Went Smoother Than These Other Celeb Chats!

How does Lil' Yachty get his energy up before a show? Not by doing interviews, that's for damn sure!

On Sunday, the Peek A Boo rapper sat down with Chicago radio station WCGI ahead of his Lollapalooza performance — but it was clear he was in NO MOOD to chat.

The 19-year-old must have just woken up, because he spent most of the interview yawning, mumbling one worded responses, and drifting off into the distance.

Though he did perk up at the mention of pizza… and to compliment the suit of some random guy he dubbed "Bruno Jupiter."

Watch the spacey interview (above) and check out even more cringeworthy celeb chats (below)!

CLICK HERE to view "Angry, Awkward, & CRAZY Celeb Interviews!"

CLICK HERE to view "Angry, Awkward, & CRAZY Celeb Interviews!"

CLICK HERE to view "Angry, Awkward, & CRAZY Celeb Interviews!"

CLICK HERE to view "Angry, Awkward, & CRAZY Celeb Interviews!"

CLICK HERE to view "Angry, Awkward, & CRAZY Celeb Interviews!"

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Get The Fuck Out Of Rihanna's Instagram Comments, Chris Brown!!!

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Rihanna's sexy new look has drawn eyes across social media.

But there's one pair of peepers Riri's followers will simply not allow to creep on her page — and those belong to Chris Brown!

On Monday, the Wild Thoughts singer took to Instagram to share pics of her ensemble for the 2017 Crop Over Festival in Barbados, and the eye-popping outfit had people talking.

Related: Chris' Daughter Launches Her Own Clothing Line!

One of those was her infamous ex-boyfriend, who dared to post an "eyes" emoji underneath the curvaceous display!

Given the former couple's history, this comment sent social media into smackdown mode. Comments went from praising the Barbados beauty's look to telling Breezy to, as one user put it, "GET THE FUCK OFF HER PAGE YOU ASSHOLE"!

See the protective responses to Brown's dirty peepers (below).

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Relationship Nightmare! Kyra Sedgwick Was Apparently Way Too Chill About Learning Hubby Kevin Bacon Was Her Cousin!

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We had forgotten all about this!

During a Television Critics Association event on Sunday, Kyra Sedgwick was asked about that time she found out while doing PBS's Finding Your Roots that she and longtime hubby Kevin Bacon were related.

For us, that may have been a dealbreaker. It certainly would have been a mindblower.

Video: Kyra & Matthew Broderick Drop A WWHL BOMBSHELL & Tell Andy They Used To Date In High School!

But for the star of Ten Days In The Valley, it was just another example of white people problems. HUH??!

She explained she wasn't even that shocked because:

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Fetty Wap Claims His Former Assistant Stole Hundreds Of Thousands Of Dollars From Him!

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Keep your money close… and your assistant closer.

That's hopefully the lesson Fetty Wap is learning right now after dealing with the apparent fall-out of an assistant who was allegedly skimming money — a LOT of money — off his bookings.

Related: Fetty Involved In Deli Shootout…

Fetty's RGF Productions is reportedly accusing former assistant Shawna Morgan of falsely representing herself as Fetty's booking agent and manager.

They fired her back on Friday, claiming that

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