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Televangelist Ted Haggard Is Bi, Claims He Used Meth Just To Enhance "Masturbation"

Filed under: Icky Icky Poo

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Here's a daily dose of unsettling news:

Televangelist Ted Haggard admitted in a new interview that he's bi, snorts meth, and allowed a male escort to do naughty, naughty things to him.

We shutter to think of the nightmares you are bound to have after reading this, but according to Ted, this isn't brand new information, so perhaps you won't be as scarred as we think you'll be. (In fact, we know that isn't brand new information, but this is the first time he's gone into so much detail about his, um, exploits.)

Either way, courtesy of GQ Magazine, he's all of Ted's dirty deeds:

"I think that probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual." But, he told GQ's Kevin Roose: "I'm 54, with children, with a belief system, and I can have enforced boundaries in my life. Just like you're a heterosexual but you don't have sex with every woman that you're attracted to, so I can be who I am and exclusively have sex with my wife and be perfectly satisfied." About former meth dealer and escort Mike Jones, Haggard says: "We never had sex sex. I bought drugs and a massage from him, and he masturbated me at the end of it. That's it." [snip]

He admitted to buying drugs "five or six times" from Jones, but adds: "Sometimes I'd throw it away. Other times, I'd go someplace and masturbate and use it. But it was for masturbation. And that's one of the reasons why I haven't been real clear. I don't want to stand up publicly and say, 'Hey, I'm a masturbation guy!" "You know, that's really the core issue here," he added. "I bought the drugs to enhance masturbation. Because what crystal meth does–Mike taught me this–crystal meth makes it so you don't ejaculate soon. So you can watch porn and masturbate for a long time."

We think we speak for everyone when we say EWWWWW! Over-share!

Some stuff should be kept private, you know?

[Image via AP Images.]

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