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The Simpleton DID Drop Ken Paves For New Man!


We totally thought that this was why!

Despite reports suggesting otherwise, sources are now claiming that Ken Paves and The Simpleton's friendship is currently on the outs because she IS one of those obnoxious girls who drops her friends the minute she has a man!

A source explains:

"Ken is sick of her cycle of dumping friends when she's with a guy …… She doesn't care about the world, only herself, All she talks about is men, love and sex."


Whatevs, though!

He'll dump her ass, as they always do, and when she goes crying back to Ken, we hope he gives her a piece of his mind!

Be an ADULT, bb, and learn how to balance ALL of your relationships. You're only hurting yourself in the long run!

[Image via WENN.]

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Are Ken Paves And The Simpleton Dunzo?!


Oh no! Has their beautiful loved withered up and died - just like her career?!

Sources are reporting that JSimpleton and her former main gay, Ken Paves, are in the middle of a horrible feud - and it's NOT because she dropped him for her new boyfriend!


Apparently, the two had a petty fight over something silly, and Ken is over her!

The insider claims:

"They've had a major fight. Jessica's devastated over it, she loves Ken. He just won't speak to her at all. They were so close. Maybe one of them will come around."

Paves even allegedly snubbed the Simpleton's 30th birthday party, and has instead pledged his allegiance to new bestie Eva Longoria!

Oh snap! Someone with a career - that must STING!

However, the celebrity hair stylist insists the two are fine, and claims:

"Jessica and I are definitely still friends. Jess is very supportive of my other relationships as I am of hers! The truth is we have both been busy and on different schedules. I know Jessica is very excited for me! I've brought her dad Joe on to manage these projects. It's all in the family! We are all definitely still friends…"

Hmmm - we feel like if something were really going down, we would have heard something by now, so we're going to believe Ken for the moment!

But there's definitely something a little shady about this whole thing! Fess up, bitches!

What's going down?!

[Image via WENN.]

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More Details On Mimoo's Holiday Album!


We think this is the perfect way to get her music career back on track!

Sources are confirming that the holiday album we reported that Mariah Carey was producing this year will be called Merry Christmas II You, and it's set for a November 2nd release date!

How clever! LOLs!

If you recall, Mimoo's original holiday album from 1994 was called Merry Christmas, so that's an adorable way to link the two together!

The album will reportedly also be accompanied by a behind-the-scenes DVD, but no word yet on what kind of footage it will have for all of you little lambs!

We're thrilled! We can't wait to get into the holiday season with our Mimoo!

We don't even know why the Simpleton is even TRYING to hold her own against the diva with a competing Christmas album! LOLs!

Good luck, bitch!


[Image via WENN.]

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The Simpleton Cutting A Holiday Album This Year Too!


And we're sure it will do just as well as her last album!


Oh, that silly JSimpleton!

Apparently, Jessica Simpson is taking the Mariah Carey route and releasing a Holiday album this year because no one will buy anything else she releases!

She announced via Twitter:

I'm making another Christmas record!!!!!!!!! My BF @mcstephyblanche just made my office a winter wonderland! I'm SO inspired!

We hope nobody tells her that just because decorations for the holidays are up doesn't mean Santa's coming any faster.

Poor gurl will be crushed!

Bwa ha ha!

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[Image via WENN.]

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The Simpleton Is An Old Spinster Lady!

Filed under: Jessica SimpsonSilly!KnifestylesTwitter


We have a sneaking suspicion that this is going to lead to a whole lot of plastic surgery!

We can't wait!!

Now that she's hit the big 3-0, The Simpleton is apparently noticing the first signs of old age, and took to her Twitter to inform the world of her findings!

She writes:

It is official- I'm 30 and found a wrinkle. Damnit!!


Time to botox that right off! No need to let nature take its course - at least not while you're still unwed!


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[Image via WENN.]

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The Simpleton Puts On Her Sunday Best!


Maybe her new man likes them butch!

JSimpleton was spotted shopping in the men's department of Bloomingdale's yesterday wearing this striking little number, and we are never ceased to be amazed by the effort she constantly puts into her appearance!

Lesbian high school gym teachers want their look back, bb!

And we're not even going to tell you what we think Sue Sylvester would have to say about this mess!


[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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The Simpleton Wants To Rip Off Work With WHO?!


We doubt that anyone could help save gurlfriend's music career, but hey - it's worth a shot!

Sources are claiming that JSimpleton is once again attempting to record an album with a brand new image, and even wants to collaborate with Miz Katy Perry!

The insider says:

“Jessica is busy working on new songs and a new direction and has a number of names she would love to collaborate with and Katy is at the top. She’s hoping she might be able to work with her in some way and maybe even perform with her.”

Oh great - that's exactly what we need. The Simpleton attempting to be edgy and just sounding desperate!

Nail that coffin shut, bb, and stick to your reality show and fashion stuff!

[Image via WENN.]

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