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Roseanne Totally Feels Charlie Sheen

Roseanne Feels Charlie Sheen

When Roseanne recently appeared on The Late Show , she told David Letterman how she gets Charlie Sheen cracking under Hollywood pressure.

One of her first battles with Hollywood scrutiny came during the taping of her sitcom, Roseanna, when she overhead a couple of guys questioning the success of "a show about fat people."

Who were those skeptics? Her very own agent and the show's producer!

So Roseanne felt no shame when she said:

You can lose her mind [here]. I can understand how you can go really crazy like that.

It's true, there is a lot of pressure in Tinseltown, but there's a difference between going crazy and then purposely exploiting the craziness.

Seriously, the guy should still get some hardcore therapy.

[Image via Michael Carpenter/WENN.]

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MaSheen Trying To Trademark 22 Catchphrases??

Filed under: Legal MattersCharlie Sheen

Sheen Trademarking Phrases

Charlie Sheen isn't just taking a break from his life to go on his multi-city Tourpedo, because a company linked directly to him has been very busy — applying for trademarks on up to 22 of his disturbed ranting gibberish catchphrases!

Gone will be the days of being able to say, "Duh, winning!" and "Vatican Assassin" freely in an entertainment medium:

Among the phrases that you may soon be able to wear shamefully proudly on your chest: “Vatican Assassin,” “Tiger Blood,” “Rock Star From Mars,” “I’m Not Bi-Polar, I’m Bi-Winning,” and, of course, “Duh, Winning.”

It would be different if he were trying to cash in on really normal phrases, but nobody can deny the fact that these nuggest of crazy are straight from the actor's brain.

We can't blame him for trying to make some money from it, but, as a giant hug to his followers, let them quote you without worry!

What do U think should be the fee to use these phrases?

[Image via WENN.]

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Charlie Sheen Threatened Denise Richards With "Physical Harm"

Despicable Sheen

Oh no! This is horrible!

While everyone is busy glorifying Charlie Sheen for his courageous stand crazy antics, people are ignoring the Warlock's obvious problems, like, you know, ANGER MANAGEMENT!

Reports are surfacing that Charlie "threatened" his ex-wife Denise Richards, whom is the mother of his children, with "physical harm"!

A source said:

"He wanted to pose in a picture with the girls a few days ago and when Denise refused, he threatened her with physical harm."

Sorry Charlie, but she did the right thing!

How can she trust you around her children when you're waving machetes on top of buildings? Get a clue, dude!

Since the beginning of her ex-husbands public meltown, a source says Denise has been "constantly trying to shield them from their dad's problems."

We would too!

We feel terrible that Charlie is profiting from his breakdown, while his family is quietly suffering.

Do us a favor, Charlie. Take a good long look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself a question. Is this how you want your kids to remember you?

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

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One Of Charlie Sheen's Porn Stars Attempts Suicide As A 'Publicity Stunt!'

Filed under: Icky Icky PooDrugsLegal MattersSad SadTwitter

kacey-jordan-attempts-suicide

We suppose not everyone's bodies can handle tiger blood! Can't say he didn't warn us!

Kacey Jordan, one of the porn stars who was pAArtying with Charlie Sheen back in January, reportedly 'attempted' to kill herself last night.

Chicago authorities revealed that they responded to a 9-1-1 call from the Peninsula Hotel around 7pm last night, after she Tweeted several suicidal messages, claiming she was waiting to die after taking pills and alcohol.

When they arrived at her room, police found her in bed, with prescription pill bottles, broken glass and alcohol, but she claimed that she had written the messages as a publicity stunt!

However, that didn't stop her from then attempting to cut herself with a corkscrew bottle opener! She was taken to the hospital for a mental evaluation, and police have labeled it a non-criminal suicide attempt.

Geesh. Whether she was doing it for attention or not, clearly, this girl is extremely unwell, and we in all seriousness DO hope that she can get the help she obviously needs.

[Image via WENN.]

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Move Over, Rachael Ray! Charlie Sheen Is In The Kitchen Now

Filed under: Silly!Rachael RayCharlie Sheen

At least he's got a sense of humor about himself…assuming he realized this was a joke.

Check out the video (above) of Charlie Sheen teaching the world how to cook, in a perfectly coherent manner.

At first, this seemed like it was just another excuse for Charlie to overuse words like "winning" and "warlock," but when he grabbed a bottle of wine and said it was "tea made from ground dinosaur fossils," we were pretty much won over.

Good for them for not using the obvious "tiger blood" joke! We appreciate that kind of thing.

What do U think of Charlie's cooking show? Did you learn a lot?

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CBS President Hires Round The Clock Security For Fear Of Charlie Sheen!

Filed under: Exclusives!Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen naked

Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that CBS head honcho Les Moonves now has taken some serious measures to ensure his safety and that of his family because he is fearful of recently fired Two And A Half Men star Charlie Sheen.

"Charlie and Les got into a very heated verbal altercation recently," an insider close to the situation tells us. "Les has also been telling people that Charlie was seen driving by his house, which spooked him."

As a result, we're told Moonves now has two security people patrolling his property 24/7.

"His wife [The Talk co-host Julie Chen] even has security," our insider says.

Better safe than sorry!

Charlie does have guns - and machetes - in his house!

[Image via WENN.]

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Drink Up! Tiger Blood For Everyone!

Filed under: Silly!Charlie Sheen

tiger-blood-energy-drink.jpg

Red Bull - consider yourself OWNED! (At least for the next week or so…)

Team Sheen, rejoice and be glad, because now you too can drink Tiger's Blood and pAArty like Charlie Sheen. Harco Laboratories has just released a new energy drink that promises to pack enough of a punch to bring you to a Charlie level of insanity winning!

Via the companies the website, Harco promises that their "Bi-Winning Tiger Blood" will give you all the energy you need to conquer your day while merely sipping on their libation in your own Sober Valley Lodge. They add:

"It's made from 100% passion specifically to make your brain fire in a way that's not from this particular terrestrial realm. Tiger Blood allows you to use household items, you're welcome to take more drugs than anyone can survive. Be different, have a different brain, and a different heart. When you feel Tiger Blood in your veins, you'll realize dying's for fools and that can't is the cancer of happen. Period. The end.

Note: This product does not do any of the above, and we don't know what banging 7 gram rocks means. It is, however, a delicious fruit punch flavored energy shot packing 80mg of caffeine. WINNING.

Also: Don't do drugs. Seriously. Don't. Do. Drugs."

Radical. Bitchin'. Tubular. (Wait, has he used that one yet? Eh, only a matter of time.)

One bag will cost you $4, but an "epic 4-pack" can be purchased for $15.96. Take our advice - save your money. Do yourself one better and heed their disclaimer about not doing drugs.

The world already has one Charlie Sheen. Isn't that enough?

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