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Roseanne Tears Apart Talks Charlie Sheen And Chuck Lorre On Her Blog

Filed under: DrugsRoseanneCharlie Sheen

roseanne talks charlie sheen and chuck lorre on her blog

Wow, Roseanne! Way to put both Charlie Sheen AND Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre in their place!

Here's what Roseanne had to say about the two and a half men on her blog post entitled "Charlie Sheen Makes Me Look Sane":

this thread is for charlie sheen talk and mental illness talk. Charlie is not on drugs, though he can get them from the porn star goddesses that come and go, but his urine shows clean–i think charlie is in a manic high, and is unable to get any drugs to bring him down anymore—his tiger blood statement is from that "eye of the tiger" focus that manics have. Manics can really work hard and play hard at the same time, until they hit a wall, and then they are in bed and depressed for a long time, so they start taking drugs again to get energy to work. Charlie, take a break dude. Go to Greece, Paris, China, look at great art and lay low. you got fired, dude. anybody can do your job, really. other guys are funny and not repulsive to intelligent women, though those shit chuck lorre lines could choke a fucking horse, and render any actor who recites them stone cold soul dead. No grown man could really look himself in the mirror knowing that he delivers shit jokes and adolescent sniggering over breasts and women's body parts lines to the Tea partier types who are big fans of Chuck's hilarious hijinx. I fired Chuck Lorre for being a big drunk on my show, and he went on to become one of tv's most successful writers (about dick jokes). Maybe Charlie can start producing porn movies now!!

Pret-ty intense stuff, Ms. Barr…although we agree with what you're saying about Charlie being manic.

What do U think about Roseanne's unforgiving Charlie/Chuck comments?

[Image via WENN.]

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Charlie Sheen Is…MACHETE! CHE GUEVARA!

charlie sheen does his best che

Earlier today, we were pretty disturbed/creeped out/traumatized by Charlie Sheen wielding a machete whilst drinking Tiger Blood on the roof of the Beverly Hills Live Nation office building.

Now, it looks like Charlie's machete move may be a little bit less disturbing but still pretty disturbing.

Apparently, the machete did NOT belong to Charlie, but was given to him by a Live Nation exec during a merchandising meeting, who asked Sheen to "give his best Che Guevara and wave it around for the cameras."

Here's what a source had to say about it:

"Charlie grabbed it and was like, 'Cool. Viva la revolución!'"

All right Charlie, we'll subtract A FEW crazy points for that one…

[Images via WENN & IMDB.]

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Charlie Sheen Is…MACHETE!

charlie sheen wields a machete

Looks like Robert Rodriguez has found the star of his next movie! (Sorry Danny Trejo…)

Check out the photos (above, & below) of Charlie Sheen celebrating his termination from Two and a Half Men by wielding a machete on top of the Beverly Hills Live Nation office building, whilst drinking a bottle of Coca Cola Tiger Blood.

Scariest part? Here are a couple of excerpts from a phone conversation Charlie had with his media advisor Bob Maron:

"We need to hack up the person responsible for this bad connection. We need to hack him up into pieces in front of his children."

"We need to cut off his face and wear it and go on a very tightly-budgeted shopping spree in stores that don't exist yet."

It's pret-ty disturbing to us that the same guy who made these comments was photographed in possession of a sharp, lethal weapon.

…And is it just us, or are the peeps next to Charlie WAY too comfortable? He's wielding a machete AND drinking Tiger Blood!

Creeeepy!

Do U think Machete Charlie is ACTUALLY drinking Tiger Blood here?

[Image via WENN.]

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charlie drinks tiger blood

Gary Busey Is Praying for Charlie Sheen

Filed under: Charlie Sheen

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Let's say that again:

Gary Busey…is praying for Charlie Sheen.

There are so many things wrong with that sentence, we don't even know where to begin.

In this world gone mad, Gary currently finds himself to be a mildly-sought after reality star and thus, he has all these interviews lined up with actual, reputable sources. And they want to talk to him not because he's on the teetering edge of Looneyville, but because they want his insight on Charlie's antics.

Someone call us Alanis Morrisette. It's time for Ironic, Part Deux!

While also plugging his role on the Celebrity Apprentice (that's right..Gary Busey can get hired, but not Charlie!), he offered this in response to Charlie's newfound bat-shiz crayzay antics:

"Charlie is in a taGaryBuseyOct07ilspin. Charlie's got to understand what the truth is. The beautiful thing about the truth is that it requires no questions. I want Charlie to get up out of the mud and reclaim his life and I'm praying for him. The advice I have for him is to look at himself and the truth in his heart, because what he's doing is not true to his heart."

Maybe it is, Gary. We're still not exactly sure how tiger blood affects the human anatomy, so perhaps what Charlie is doing is true to his thumping, roaring ticker engorge with feline fluid!

So, Charlie…even Gary Busey is telling you to get help.

Welcome to rock bottom, population YOU!

[Image via WENN.]

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Denise Richards Wants To Keep Kids Away From Charlie

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We can't blame her.

Denise Richards doesn't want her daughters, 6-year-old Sam and 5-year-old Lola anywhere near Charlie Sheen as she's "disgusted" by his recent behavior and thinks he's just too risky to be around their daughters.

Denise believes Brooke Mueller's allegations, which stated that Charlie told everyone he "violently" hated Denise and was going to have her hair shaved off.

Furthermore, when Charlie asked Denise to sit down and do a photo shoot with him, their kids, Brooke and her kids, and the goddesses, Denise refused. Charlie apparently got so angry, he went on the attack and sent her vicious text messages.

WTF??!? Is this what happens when you mix a warlock with tiger's blood?

This man is unreal and we don't blame Denise one bit for not trusting Charlie in his current state.

We're just really hoping that all his children can still manage to have somewhat of a normal childhood. We really do feel for them.

[Image via WENN.]

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Carlos Estevez Charlie Sheen: Tweets From A Winning Warlock

Filed under: Charlie SheenTwitter

Sheen The Twitter Warlock

As we reported, our resident fave quote source has started a Twitter.

How did he kick it off?

Why, with winning of course!

Is there anything that Charlie Sheen can't defeat??

Here are the inaugural tweets:

[1] Winning..! Choose your Vice… #winning #chooseyourvice http://twitpic.com/455ly9

[2] Just got invited to do the Nancy Grace show… I'd rather go on a long road trip with Chuck Lorre in a '75 Pacer….

[3] Winner..! 2012… #winner http://twitpic.com/4575pd

[4] The only watch that keeps Warlock time - Class of 1927 ring "Bambino U" #winning http://twitpic.com/458bdr

Oh wow… DEF turning on phone tweets!

We wonder if warlocks are always on time with the help of those watches that deal specifically with warlock time, and we also wonder if warlocks usually have tiger blood, and are sometimes considered bitchin' martians.

If somebody knows, tell us what's up!

Blow up our phones with tweets, Sheenie!

Thoughts??

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

P.P.S. CLICK HERE to "like" Perez on Facebook!

[Image via WENN.]

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