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CHRISTIAN GREY REVEALED! And Holy Geez Is He Ugly

Alexander Skarsgard Christian Grey CGI

Nooooooo!

Christian Grey is supposed to be a stunning mix of rugged, handsome manliness! The perfectly chiseled combination of power, sex appeal, and deviance!

Well, Dr. Faye Skelton is the mad scientist from University of Central Lancashire who aspired to create the perfect gentleman.

He failed.

This unholy abortion composite portrait of a man (above, left) is a computer generated synthesis of the greatest parts of today's hottest male celebs and the ideal candidate for Mizter Grey in a Fifty Shades film!

They combined Patrick Dempsey's eyes with Brad Pitt's jawline and David Beckham's face shape to create the most desirable amalgam imaginable.

It. Did. Not. Work.

In a statement, Dr. Frankenstein Skelton said:

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Top Gun 2 Gets Permission To Engage

Filed under: Gay Gay GayFilm FlickersTom Cruise

Tom Cruise and Suri Cruise Top Gun 2

We knew it was coming, but it’s finally official!

Kelly McGillis is gay! Wait, that's old news

Top Gun 2 is HAPPENING!

The suits at Paramount just confirmed it: Everyone’s favorite latently homosexual ‘80s action extravaganza is getting the sequel treatment!!

Tom Cruise will be back as Maverick, along with other key players from the original flick, including director Tony Scott and producer Jerry Bruckheimer.

Peter Craig is expected to pen the new script — you know, if he’s not too busy

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Celebs Hit The Clippers!

Filed under: Adam SandlerBasketball

Salley Morello Clippers

Basketball and Celebs go hand-in-hand!

The Clippers had some of that star power to help out at their game against the Celtics!

We had Tom Morello, John Salley, Val Kilmer, and Adam Sandler!

That's right — Batman AND Billy Madison!

Ha!

Get us a foam finger!

[Images via Wenn.]

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Eddie Vedder Brings The LOLs In New Portlandia Sketch!

A-MAZING!

Check out the HIGHlarious Portlandia sketch (above) featuring Eddie Vedder in a tattootastic role! Ha!

This is really GREAT! We haven't been this impressed with a celeb cameo in a comedy sketch since Val Kilmer appeared in that SNL digital short last month!

Hey, maybe Val and Eddie should do some comedy together! That would be a random but potentially awesome combination, don't U think?

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At Least He's Working! Val Kilmer's New Movie Gets A DVD Release Date

val kilmer new movie gets dvd release date

He's still got a ways to go before he becomes a major big screen presence again, but this is at least a step in the right direction!

Val Kilmer's new movie Seven Below (above) has just gotten a DVD release date of April 7, 2012. The flick also stars Piranha's Ving Rhames, and Hellboy II: The Golden Army actor Luke Goss.

Here's how the flick's being described:

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