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Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Built Bonerz For Kanye West While He Railed Other Women

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As far-fetched as it sounds, Kanye West once longed to be Ray J!

The Louis Vutton Don and Kim Kardashian are happy as two pigs in a blanket these days but, way back when, the up-and-coming rapper needed Kimmy's sensational sex tape to erect his erections!

She was his visual Viagra!

Apparently Yeezy was obsessed with watching and re-watching the seXXXy Superstar porn tape that

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Ryan Lochte: Pink Speedo Causes Widespread Boners

Filed under: Yummy Yummy ScrewRyan LochteSex

Ryan Lochte Pink Speedo Boners Olympics

RYAN LOCHTE.

Listen to us!

You can't just go around in the skimpiest of skimpy pink speedos!

Think of how many boners you caused — in public! Those people must be SO embarrassed!

Sure, you can wear the hell out of it. We get that. You just need to give the crowd some warning.

Luckily there weren't any boner related incidents, other than some exploded trunks and a plunge in viagra stock.

LOLz!!!

[Image via AKM-GSI.]

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Arrested Development Production Pics! Michael Cera Seduces SeXXXy Lady From Segway!

Filed under: TV NewsMichael CeraJason Bateman

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We can't stop slurping up all this sweet and savory Arrested Development deliciousness!!

Each new photo, tweet, and scrap of news is like Viagra to our funny boner!

We stumbled across this picture of Michael Cera attempting to woo a lady on a college campus from the back of not just any Segway, but GOB's Segway, and we just KNEW this was the work of Arrested Development!!

Sure enough, Michael and Jason Bateman filmed another scene yesterday in El Lay for the show's highly anticipated 4th season!

Leave it to

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Apple Announces It's Still Super Awesome

Filed under: Tech TalkYouTubeBusiness Blitz

How can something that teeny be soooo powerful?

(Why yes, we did mean to make that sound diiiiiiiiirty!)

Apple announced an upgrade Monday for the MacBook Pro.

At over two grand a pop, these puppies aren’t cheap but boy are they flashy.

Only .71 inches thick, these MacBooks are significantly lighter and tinier than ever before.

The processing is improved and the retina display looks phenomenal.

Faster, prettier, AND more portable?? Software engineers don’t usually give with both hands!

Mac fanatics, ch-ch-check out the video (above) and give yourself the kind of iBoner usually reserved for the Doublemint Twins and performance enhancing diamond-shaped pills!!

[Image via YouTube.]

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Man Sues BMW For…His Erection?

BMW boner lawsuit

WTF!?

A 52-year-old man is suing BMW and a motorcycle seat company because he got a boner that lasted almost two years after a four-hour ride on the vehicle.

Henry Wolf alleges that the unwanted perpetual hard-on developed because of

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