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Haunted House Clowns Allegedly Poke Visitors With Vibrators! Disgusting!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooHalloweenScary!

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One haunted house got real scary in the creepiest way possible!

Regina Janito, and her 17-year old daughter were allegedly assaulted and verbally harassed at the Massacre Haunted House in Montgomery, Illinois, and have since filed a lawsuit.

[ Photos: Celebs Who Are Afraid Of Clowns! ]

According to the lawsuit, one of the clowns in the parking lot of the haunted house allegedly "violently" poked Regina's daughter with a vibrator, while another clown performed oral sex on a teddy bear wearing a strap-on vibrator.

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'Constipated' Man Turns Out To Have THIS Kinky Sex Toy Stuck Inside Him! Read The Sex Sent Me To The ER Story That Will Have You Shaking With Laughter!

Filed under: TV NewsWacky, Tacky & TrueSexGIFs

vibrator man constipated

Having trouble going number 2? Then maybe, just maybe, it's because there is a sex toy lodged in your large intestine.

The story featured in an episode of TLC's Sex Sent Me To The ER involves an anonymous man who went to the ER after complaining that he was constipated.

According to nurse Stevie Pope, an X-Ray scan revealed "a large object that was lodged in the large intestine."

And what was that large object?

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Woman Smuggles A Vibrator Into The Grocery Store Thanks To Her Vagina & Pays The ULTIMATE Price! Shocking, SeXXXy Vid HERE!

Filed under: TV NewsWacky, Tacky & TrueSexOuchie!GIFs

couple sex toy supermarket orgasm emergency room vibrator clean up aisle three

We've heard of shopping ’til you drop before, but this is friggin' ridiculous!

In the premiere episode of TLC's totally titillating new series Sex Sent Me to the ER, we're introduced to a Ashley & Dennis. Feeling sexually adventurous one afternoon, the young couple decided to bring a sex toy to their local grocery store.

Yup, Ashley shoved a remote control vibrator into her lady cave of wonders and handed off the remote to her boyfriend!

That's. When. Things. Got. Dangerous.

Ch-ch-check out the Sex Sent Me to the ER clip and find out what happened to her…AFTER THE JUMP!!!

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E.T. Sex Toys Are Real! Real Creepy, That Is! Click HERE & Have Your Childhood RUINED!

et vibrator creepy childhood over sex toy plush doll phone home

We all saw Elliott teach his candy-loving alien buddy how to speak basic English and make phone calls, but apparently we missed the scene where he whips out a Playboy and shows E.T. how to find the clitoris!

Huh, maybe Steven Spielberg must have saved the anatomy lesson for E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial's director's cut?

At any rate, E.T. is all grown up and looking to get frisky! No, seriously! Someone is actually crafting and selling handmade E.T. plush dolls that double as vibrators!

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Tickle Your Cervix In Style With This 24-Karat Gold Vibrator!

24 karat gold vibrator ann summers british 50 shades of rich bitch

And you thought your diamond vajazzled vajayjay oozed class!!

British lingerie designer Ann Summers finally answered the age-old question, "what do we get for the sexfiend who has everything?"

A 24-Karat gold vibrator, that's what!

Whoa! For realzies?!

We haven't wanted something that slick and classy inside of us since Daniel Craig made his James Bond debut, LOLz!!

Every celebrity should have one of these!!

Maybe if KStew kept one in her purse she wouldn't have been so desperate too cook cucumbers in her cabbage patch on the set of Snow White!!

For just shade over $15 grand, you too can be the Belle of the ball at your next Fifty Shades shindig!

[Image via Ann Summers Pleasure Emporium.]

http://www.annsummers.com/

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German Cops Bust A Robber Vibrator Trying To Break Into A House!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueSilly!Legal MattersEtc.

German Vibrator busted

We're not even exaggerating with that headline either.

German police responded to a call last Sunday night in which a man reported a possible burglary in progress. He heard what he THOUGHT was drilling coming from the lower level of his home around 11pm.

Once the officers arrived and investigated, it turned out the burglar was nothing more than a vibrator that had fallen off of a shelf in the basement and turned on after landing on a pipe.

That must have been an awkward discovery. Ha!

Hopefully the owner of the, uh, tool learned that ahem, toys, are kept in the privacy of the bedroom for a reason.

[Image via WENN.]

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Chelsea Handler Uses Her Vibrator To Help Horseless Carriage Cause!

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She definitely has a unique way of getting her point across!

Chelsea Handler took an "intimate" approach in her fight for horseless carriages in NYC. The talk show host sent a letter to Mayor Bloomberg.

She begins the letter with the following:

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