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E.T. Sex Toys Are Real! Real Creepy, That Is! Click HERE & Have Your Childhood RUINED!

et vibrator creepy childhood over sex toy plush doll phone home

We all saw Elliott teach his candy-loving alien buddy how to speak basic English and make phone calls, but apparently we missed the scene where he whips out a Playboy and shows E.T. how to find the clitoris!

Huh, maybe Steven Spielberg must have saved the anatomy lesson for E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial's director's cut?

At any rate, E.T. is all grown up and looking to get frisky! No, seriously! Someone is actually crafting and selling handmade E.T. plush dolls that double as vibrators!

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Tickle Your Cervix In Style With This 24-Karat Gold Vibrator!

24 karat gold vibrator ann summers british 50 shades of rich bitch

And you thought your diamond vajazzled vajayjay oozed class!!

British lingerie designer Ann Summers finally answered the age-old question, "what do we get for the sexfiend who has everything?"

A 24-Karat gold vibrator, that's what!

Whoa! For realzies?!

We haven't wanted something that slick and classy inside of us since Daniel Craig made his James Bond debut, LOLz!!

Every celebrity should have one of these!!

Maybe if KStew kept one in her purse she wouldn't have been so desperate too cook cucumbers in her cabbage patch on the set of Snow White!!

For just shade over $15 grand, you too can be the Belle of the ball at your next Fifty Shades shindig!

[Image via Ann Summers Pleasure Emporium.]

http://www.annsummers.com/

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German Cops Bust A Robber Vibrator Trying To Break Into A House!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueSilly!Legal MattersEtc.

German Vibrator busted

We're not even exaggerating with that headline either.

German police responded to a call last Sunday night in which a man reported a possible burglary in progress. He heard what he THOUGHT was drilling coming from the lower level of his home around 11pm.

Once the officers arrived and investigated, it turned out the burglar was nothing more than a vibrator that had fallen off of a shelf in the basement and turned on after landing on a pipe.

That must have been an awkward discovery. Ha!

Hopefully the owner of the, uh, tool learned that ahem, toys, are kept in the privacy of the bedroom for a reason.

[Image via WENN.]

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Chelsea Handler Uses Her Vibrator To Help Horseless Carriage Cause!

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She definitely has a unique way of getting her point across!

Chelsea Handler took an "intimate" approach in her fight for horseless carriages in NYC. The talk show host sent a letter to Mayor Bloomberg.

She begins the letter with the following:

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Want To Vibe It Out Like One Of The Real Housewives??

kandi-burruss-launches-sex-toy-line

A majority of the Real Housewives have attempted to use the reality series as a platform to launch singing careers, but one of the only Housewives who who actually had one beforehand is moving on to more SEKSI pastures!

That's right, Atlanta's Kandi Burruss has debuted a line of, ahem, 'pleasure products' of the feminine persausain called Bedroom Kandi, which not only include a vibrator called Kandi Kisses, which looks like an innocuous lipstick, but also one that responds to the beat of music!

Holy shiz! Ten points for creativity!

And if you're in the NYC, head over to Babeland in SoHo to meet her AND try one of her products!

Check out all the information - AND a photo of Kandi Kisses…AFTER THE JUMP!

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