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Sex Toy Company Gives Free Vibrators To Furloughed Gov't Employees! Get The Deets HERE!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TruePolitikSex

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They can take our lives, but they'll never take our orrrrrgaasssssssmmms!

We have great news for chronic masturbators who are also furloughed federal employees!!! The government may be closed for business, but your vagina needn't be!

The good samaritans at Vibrators.com refuse to let the Congressional shutdown shut down the libidos of our favorite non-essential government workers!!!

They understand getting off on all this unpaid time off might be stressful because, really, it's hard to rationalize stocking up on batteries and shiny new dildos on a fixed income with no end in sight. So they're giving away 200 FREE vibrators every single day in an effort to provide these poor, jobless souls with at least a momentary distraction!!

Their site reads:

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The Avengers Line Of Sex Toys Totally Tickles Our, Errm, Soul! See Them All HERE!

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WARNING: If you didn't like The Hulk when he was angry, you're gonnna hate him when he's horny!

Look, as much as we'd love for Chris Hemsworth to sneak into our bedroom at night and smack us around with Thor's mighty hammer, we aren't holding our breath!

Thankfully, there are now Avengers themed dildos and vibrators (above) to hold us over in the meanwhile!!!

Woo hoo!!! These sex toys aren't actually on the market or anything (YET), but they are a HIGHlariously wonderful idea!!!

Not every boy can be an Iron Man 24/7 and there is no shame in supplementing one's game!!

Ch-ch-check out the rest of the super-titillating sex products…AFTER THE JUMP!!!

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Forget Your Buns, Hot Dog Vendors Have Upgraded To Stuffing Vaginas!

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We're as surprised as you!

Is Xzibit playing Pimp My Hot Dog Cart ?

Nope!!

Trojan — the condom manufacturer — stocked a few hot dog carts in NYC chock full of long phallic objects you are not supposed to swallow!

These aren't the all-beef Kosher wieners your Grandpa used to ram into his mouth on the corner of Broadway and West 45th in between acts of My Fair Lady!

These hot dog shaped devices are designed to

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