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Levi Johnston WON'T Be Running For Mayor In Alaska

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Bristol Palin must be SOOOO bummed to hear this! LOLz.

Way back in November, Bristol commented on Levi Johnston's potential run for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, and she did NOT think he'd be the right man for the position.

Looks like she's not going to have to worry about it, because

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Levi Johnston Tries To Win Over The Ladies Of The View

Levi Johnston agreed to be on The View yesterday to talk about, well, himself. Barbara Walters was ready for him, hitting him hard right off the bat with his lack of education (he did not graduate high school) and his seemingly incessant need for attention.

Watch as Levi attempts to redeem himself in the eyes of these ladies! (above)

P.S. - He doesn't!

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Forget Capitol Hill! Levi Has To Deal With Capitol One First!

Filed under: Legal MattersLevi Johnston

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If you were thinking of donating to the mayoral campaign of Levi Johnston, we'd think again. You just might find that your money is going towards his bills, not his noble cause!

Sources are reporting that Capitol One Bank has just filed legal papers in Alaska against Levi. According to their records, Levi charged $1,178.06 to his account last year, but never paid up. Now, they are looking for their $$$. They want the Wasilla weasel to fork over the total sum, and then some - interest at the rate of 19.90%.

We are in a recession!

So, where you going to come up with that kind of dough, dufus?

[Image via WENN.]

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Levi Johnston Makes First Campaign Stop At Gun Show

Filed under: PolitikLevi JohnstonReality TV

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Let’s recap what’s happening up in good ol’ Alaska: Levi Johnston knocks up Bristol Palin, their engagement goes south, Levi poses for Playgirl, gets back with Bristol for a month before it ends once again, and is now starring in a reality show about running for mayor of Wasilla.

This meat cake is stretching his 15 minutes of fame wayyyy too long.

And he’s just getting started. He made his first campaign stop at a gun store just a day after declaring his candidacy. His camera crew followed him around while he played politician and shook hands with his main voter base — gun-owners.

Levi also talked up the shop owner about hunting. According to sources, though, he hasn’t gotten a chance to get out and shoot any Dall Sheep (his favorite animal to hunt) lately.

WTF? Sheep? Who the hell shoots sheep for the fun of it? Psychotics, that’s who.

The one consolation is that he does live in Alaska and can’t easily get to the rest of America. We just feel sorry for anyone who lives up there…and also those poor, poor sheep.

[Image via Nikki Nelson/WENN.]

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Levi Johnston Accepting Campaign Donations

Filed under: PolitikLevi Johnston

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Ugh, we hoped it wouldn't come to this!

Levi Johnston filed his "letter of intent" to run for office in Alaska during the 2011 elections - and that means he can ask for your money!

According to the Alaska Public Offices Commission, the famewhore may officially begin his campaign for mayor of Wasilla and can legally accept donations.

Our hearts and minds are with the residents of the town.

[Image via WENN.]

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Levi Johnston Wants To Whore His Kid Out On His Reality Show!

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Can't say we're shocked by this - this douchebag has no boundaries!

Levi Johnston's reality show has hit a serious snag, because according to sources, he isn't interesting enough to carry the show by himself, so producers are trying to add another dimension with the inclusion of his son, Tripp.

The problem? Baby mama Bristol and her mother, former Vice Presidential candidate, Sexy Sarah Palin, refuse to give their consent!

A source reveals:

"Sarah can’t stand Levi and it’s gotten worse. She is absolutely opposed to it. Sarah hates Levi. She thinks his desperate grasp at fame is pathetic and doesn’t want him involving Bristol or Tripp in anything he does to try and get famous.”

Oh, puh-lease! As awful as he is, those two are probably just as willing to whore that poor baby out!

They just want to do it on their terms!

But for the three people who are interested in Levi's reality show, worry not! If Tripp isn't allowed, producers plan to give the Alaskan dumbass more goals beyond just running for mayor - they're thinking about having him run for city council, or - GASP - completing his high school education and getting his GED!

Ha! It's really just pathetic, isn't it?

How about they just leave him in the Alaskan tundra and film him while he tries to find his way back to civilization?!

We'd watch the entire series! LOLs!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Bristol Won't Shut Her Hole… About Levi!

Filed under: PolitikLevi JohnstonReality TV

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This morning, Bristol Palin took a moment to comment on the recent news that her former BF, Levi Johnson, is running for the mayor of Wasilla. Her reaction was exactly what you would have expected: totally scripted! She told sources:

"I never knew he had political aspirations…I'm glad that Levi has not given up on completing his education and is looking for steady employment."

Translation: Maybe, finally, I'll get a damn child support check!!!

Don't poo-poo this just yet, bb! There maybe a role in the reality show for you! Think of all the "acting" you could do on that!

[Image via AP Images.]

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