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Real Housewives Of New York Husband Simon Van Kempen Records A Single, Unfortunately!

Wow. Please excuse us while we find some sort of crawl space for us to hide in. We need to cry this one out for a good 20 minutes.

In case Kim Zolciak, Countess LuAnn, and Danielle Staub's shrieking, hyena voices doused in auto-tune and despair weren't embarrassing enough for Real Housewives franchise, some HOrrific, cruel person decided to let the New York castmember Alex McCord's eccentric husband, Simon van Kempen, record his own single.

And yes, it's worse than you could have ever anticipated.

Ch-ch-check it out (above)…if you dare!

Yeah. Hopefully this will be the last time we ever really have to think about this…or those PANTS.

Geesh.

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