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Look Who's Talking To Perez! Kirstie Alley Denies Trying To Lure R-Patz Into Scientology!

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Looks like Robert Pattinson is safe from the clutches of Xenu for now!

Or at least Kirstie Alley, anyway!

Although reports have circulated that the actress, who is a well-known Scientologist, has been spearheading a campaign to get the recently heartbroken actor to join the religion to make it more appealing to the younger generation, it's apparently NOT true it all!

And how do we know?

Because Kirstie has reached out

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Tom Cruise Rocks His Bare Chest!

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SCRUMPTIOUS! The wonders of Photoshop, huh! LOL! We kid, we kid!

Tom Cruise is displaying his shapely stomach in the latest poster for the comedy-musical-drama Rock Of Ages.

OUCH! We could cut our tongues on such defined muscles!

And all this time we were simply worrying about his singing! Forget that: your abs are the hazard, Cruise!

We are readying ourselves for this musical wonder… WHEN WILL YOU DESCEND UPON US??

[Image via New Line Cinema.]

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Kirstie Alley Tweets About Weight Loss!

Filed under: Kirstie AlleyTwitter

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We'll see about this one!

Kirstie Alley is Tweeting up a storm because she claims that her Scientologist food line, Organic Xenu Liasion, helped her lose weight!

She :

I've lost over 50 lbs…and I'm having the time of my of my life…30 more to gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

She later posted the pic (above) with the message:

Me and my Italian men friends

Hmm - how convenient, bb! You're strategically obscured from view!

You've never been shy about showing off your figure before!

Show us the body Xenu gave you! LOLs!

Eh. Even if she did lose as much as she says she did…let's be real. She'll gain it all back in a year or two!

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

P.P.S CLICK HERE to "like" Perez on Facebook!

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Katie Holmes Looking Good For Calvin Klein

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Katie Holmes looked like the girl we all knew before she married into the world of Xenu on Thursday.

Hubby Tom Cruise let her out of her cage for the night so she could attend the Calvin Klein runway show and after party and she looked gorgeous at both events!

For the fashion show, Katie wore a chic belted dress while sitting in the front row with her stylist Jeanne Yang.

But before heading to the star-studded after party Mrs. Cruise did an outfit change and arrived in a white strapless dress.

We hope to see her looking like this more often!

[Image via Getty Images & Fame Pictures.]

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Katie Talks About Her Little Stylist

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When it comes to making fashion decisions in the house, Suri Cruise is who Katie Holmes looks to for advice.

Katie revealed to New York Magazine that the little Xenu baby was behind her 2008 Met Gala outfit:

"I had this beautiful red gown and these royal-blue shoes that I wasn't planning on wearing, but Suri made me put them on and so I was like, 'Okay, I trust you.' "

Who knew you could trust a 2 year old with such a mayjah decision?

Suri's mom also says the 4 year old calls all the shots with her own wardrobe. Katie tells the mag:

"She says, 'I want this sleeve cut,' and it's like, 'Okay, we'll cut it.' She picks out all of her own clothes and has since she was 1½."

We have a feeling that family is going to regret giving their child free reign in a couple of years.

[Image via Getty Images.]

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Tom Cruise Confirmed For Mission: Impossible IV!

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We didn't think he'd let anyone replace him in this franchise - he probably threatened to have his evil army of Xenu's minions reign terror and brimstone down on anyone who would dare stand in his way!

Paramount has announced that Tom Cruise will indeed be starring in the J.J. Abrams produced Mission: Impossible IV!

Vice Chairman Rob Moore says:

"We are absolutely excited about having Tom Cruise star in this movie."

Pssh. We're sure that they're thrilled!

Nothing screams big bucks like a washed up whack job who isn't a marketable action star anymore!

Good luck with this one, guys! And all hail Lord Xenu!

[Image via WENN.]

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Is Tom Cruise's Crazy Contagious??

HA!

We guess she was really invested in her character! Or maybe she just started taking whatever magic Xenu pills our gurl Tom Cruise is on that make him so effing batshit crazy hyper!

Check out this clip of Cameron Diaz attempting to promote her new flick, Knight & Day, on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, but actually just coming off as completely out of her mind as she flubs up her character's name in the film and then admits she actually hasn't seen it!

Yeah, the movie's that bad, huh, bb? We thought so!

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