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Zayn Malik Puts The 'Zzz' In Zayn For His Boring New Book Cover…

Filed under: Music MinuteZ ListBookzOne DirectionCover ShotSleepZayn Malik

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Zzz…

Sorry, don't mind us — we just fell asleep looking at the cover of Zayn Malik's new book Zayn.

Don't get us wrong, he's as handsome as ever… we were just expecting a bit more than his face with a giant letter "Z" on top for his first foray into publishing.

Related: Zayn Malik Is Creating A 1D-Inspired Scripted Show For NBC!

With that said, this is mostly a photographic project — so we guess any more words would only serve to confuse his readers!

All jokes aside, One Direction fans who are still mourning the Mind of Mine singer's exit can take solace in knowing they'll soon be able to own a scrapbook of Zayn's personal thoughts, photos, and even song lyrics when Zayn hits shelves on November 1.

Will U be adding a little Zayn to your coffee table??

[Image via Penguin.]

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Z-List Bristol Palin And Michael Bolton Wreak Havoc On The DWTS Set!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooZ ListReality TV

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HA! The two biggest z-listers on that mess are causing the most problems! Shocker!

Sources are reporting that Dancing with the Stars castmembers Bristol Palin and Michael Bolton are wreaking havoc on the set of the reality competition with their diva demands!

Insiders claim that Bolton "has the biggest ego" and "makes the most demands," while Palin keeps having "some major run-ins with the wardrobe designers."

We think that if she pulls any more shiz, the crew needs to give little Bristol a wake-up call and orchestrate a wardrobe 'malfunction' during her performance!

Could you IMAGINE how HIGHlarious that would be?

LOLs!

And as for Michael - well, it's mortifying to even think that someone who is as big as has-been as he would even try and be difficult to work with!

Grow up, morons! Nobody gives a shiz about either of you!

Thoughts??

[Images via WENN.]

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Angelina Challenges JWoww To Z-List Celebrity Boxing Match!

Filed under: Celebrity FeudsZ ListReality TV

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How desperate!

We guess a certain Staten Island swamp donkey is feeling the cold, throbbing thud of irrelevancy knocking at her door!

Jersey Shore's Angelina, the self-proclaimed Kim Rob Kardashian of Staten Island, has agreed to fight in a Celebrity Boxing match, and wants her opponent to be our gurl JWoww!

She says:

"I've been asked to do it and I'm so excited. I want to beat the sh*t out of someone. I don't care who I fight, but I hope it's JWoww in the ring. My mom taught me to fight. She is so beautiful with a perfect body. She has a six pack and a black belt in Karate. I have beaten the sh*t out of so many people. Girls always start it with me, so I just have to punch them in the face."

Well ain't that something?!

Sorry, bb!

We imagine that JWoww has some other, much brighter career prospects to focus on! Or maybe she's just enjoying the paycheck from season three of Jersey Shore!

Yo know, that show that you got your pancake ass fired from!

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Sucks, bitch!

[Images via WENN.]

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Minka Kelly Freaks Out On Plane!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsZ ListWoof Woof

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Ha! Who does this bitch think she is??

Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly reportedly had a diva meltdown of epic proportions today when she boarded a flight and was told she couldn't keep her pooch with her!

According to reports:

on delta flight 2863 from jfk to LAX right now and minka kelly caused such a fucking scene about her dog not being able to be on seat w/ her that the pilot had to come out before we even left the gate. she called boyfriend Derek Jeter and handed phone to him to try and rationalize w/ the seven flight attendants it took to calm her down. screaming that it was inhumane to not have the dog out/with her for take off and landing. crying. tears. etc. holy jesus was it worth seeing. we're mid-flight right now and god knows how landing's going to go. tough to be entitled.

YEESH!

Better mind your manners, bb!

Z-listers who were the worst part of an otherwise very good TV show aren't allowed to be divas - especially when they're inconveniencing an entire plane full of people!

LOLs!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Joan Rivers Tells DWTS To Go Fuck Themselves!

Filed under: Silly!Z ListJoan RiversReality TV

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No shiz, bb!

We would have easily preferred YOU to any of the Z-listers that they enlisted this year!

Joan Rivers was never approached to compete on this season's Dancing With the Stars - probably because she actually HAS a legitimate career and to qualify for the show you apparently need some sort of has-been status - and she's none too pleased about it!

She says:

"They've never asked me, so they can go fuck themselves! I don't know why because I certainly fall into their old lady category. I would do it for the exercise. Making yourself dance everyday for six hours a day I think would be so great."

Well, we would have DEFINITELY watched you, so it's their loss!

Casting fail to the max!

LOLs!

What do U think?? Are U impressed with this season's DWTS line-up??

[Image via WENN.]

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Levi Johnston Debuts His Next Baby Mama!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLove LineAwardzLevi Johnston

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Oh, goodie! He found a new z-lister to impregnate and subsequently dump!

Last night, Levi Johnston rolled into the Teen Choice Awards not only to accept the prize for Dumbest Douchebag of the Year, but to debut his new lady love, some alleged singer we've never heard of nor care to, Brittani Senser!

We suggest you make sure he double wraps that shiz, bb! Actually, don't! You're clearly just using him for press, and think about how much you'll get if he knocks you up!

Ha!

[Image via WENN.]

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Z-Lister Pretends To Be Secretive About Her Kid!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooBaby BlabberLove LineZ List

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Z-List MTV VJ actress Hilarie Burton went on the DL for a while to marry Denny Duquette and have a baby with him, and now she's refusing to reveal the name of her kid or let him be photographed!

She explains:

"We're really happy, and we're a very good team. And we got very lucky that our family is what it is. I want to protect them like a mama wolf should."

What she really means is that she's waiting for some magazine to offer her some ca$h to put her kid on its cover!

Too bad nobody gives a shiz, bb!

Nice try, though!

[Image via WENN.]

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