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Jessica Chastain & Bradley Cooper Are Flawlessly Funny Between Zach Galifianakis' Ferns!

Yes!!!!

This Zach Galifianakis sketch slays us every time!

In this episode of Between Two Ferns, the ravishingly radiant Jessica Chastain and the handsomely HIGHlarious Bradley Cooper lend their terrific talents!

Ch-ch-check out our huggable host getting ferned in the face (above) during the shocking second part of his Oscars tribute!

"I'm so sick of your ****ing ferns man!"

HA!

As an added bonus, Sally Field shares the shocking truth about her least favorite coin!

UGH! We hate the penny too, girl!

You can't use it anywhere!!

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Does Jessica Chastain HATE Jennifer Lawrence?! HOLD UP!

jessica vs jennifer

No! No! NO!

This is not okay! We ADORE them both equally!

They SIMPLY CANNOT be in a feud!

Oh wait…

They're NOT?! It's just a vicious lie?!

Oh. Okay. PHEW!

We were absolutely devastated to hear reports that A-list darling Jessica Chastain absolutely DESPISES Jennifer Lawrence, as the fellow Award-winning starlet beat her out for Best Actress at the Screen Actors Guild Awards…and then poked fun of her during her guest-hosting stint on Saturday Night Live!

Insiders apparently spilled:

"Jessica can't stand the fact that Jennifer is stealing her thunder! What is more, the critics have been gushing over Jennifer's awards show speeches and it has been killing Jessica. It was a real blow to Jessica when Jennifer took the SAG Award. Not only did Jessica think she deserved it, she thought she had it in the bag. She tried to put on a brave face for the cameras, but inside she was seething. [On SNL] Jessica felt Jennifer trivialized her acting role and didn't see any humor in the bit. She can't stand Jennifer all the more for it."

AHHH! But it was a joke! She didn't even write it herself!

GAWD!

Oh wait. Sorry! We forgot that it's NOT TRUE!

Because the lovely Zero Dark Thirty star was so upset by the false reports that she took to her Facebook page to personally deny them!

She wrote yesterday morning:

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Jessica Chastain's Breathtaking In Blue At The BAFTAs

baftas 2013 jessica chastain red carpet

Could she be any more perfect!?

Jessica Chastain electrified the BAFTAs red carpet on Sunday in the most elegant way possible.

The Zero Dark Thirty actress was flaw-free in an electric blue Roland Mouret asymmetrical gown that fit her like a glove.

To complement her gorgeous gown, Jessica was decked out in sapphire and diamond Harry Winston jewels and Jimmy Choo heels.

A bright red lip and soft gingery waves provided the finishing touches to Miz Chastain's breathtaking BAFTA ensemble.

Brava, Jess! Brava!

[Image via Getty Images.]

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Chris Pratt Lands Lead In Guardians Of The Galaxy!!!!

chris pratt james gunn guardians of the galaxy marvel movie lead role quill

Bert Macklin CHRIS PRATT REPORTING FOR DUTY!!

We couldn't be more excited for this news, you guys — not only is James Gunn directing the next big Marvel franchise, Guardians of the Galaxy, but he just landed his leading man: Chris Pratt!

If you're wondering who that is, you must not watch Parks & Rec., and in that case, what the hell is wrong with you?? Ha!

He's also in Zero Dark Thirty and Moneyball! The only way this day could get better is if we heard that H. Jon Benjamin, Billy West, or John DiMaggio was going to voice Rocket Raccoon!

Oh — that might sound weird if you don't know what Guardians is all about: Quill (Chris) is a half alien/half human astronaut who becomes the Starlord, leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy. The rest of the team includes Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Raccoon, and Gamora.

None of the other roles have be filled yet. Because Rocket is indeed a Raccoon, he'll be animated… so they need a voice actor! LOLz!

Seriously… we didn't even know Chris was in the running! This is fab news!

Now it's time to see if speculation is right in that Iron Man 3 will connect to the movie somehow — May can't get here soon enough!! AAAHHH!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Jessica Chastain Will Sign Autographs On Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Filed under: SIGHtingJessica Chastain

jessica chastain autographs car

Well, we don't know about the whole planes and trains thing, but Jessica Chastain will certainly sign an autograph from a car!

We wish all Hollywood stars were as good as this!

The lovely redhead has certainly not let fame blow up her ego despite having two Oscar nods under her belt.

She was caught sitting in her vehicle when she took the chance to sign autographs for fans!

The Zero Dark Thirty actress happily signed away for those lucky ones who spotted her.

We can only wonder if she’ll be so sugary sweet if she ends up walking away with Oscar!

[Image via David Durocher/WENN.]

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Jessica Chastain Is In Full Bloom At The Oscar Nominees Luncheon

jessica chastain wears erdem to the academy awards nominees luncheon

Flower power!

Jessica Chastain attended the Oscar Nominees Luncheon at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on Monday afternoon looking simply sublime!

The Zero Dark Thirty star slipped into a lovely Erdem knee-length number featuring floral embroidery and lace, elbow-length sleeves.

We love how the pink and periwinkle flowers bring out a glow in Jessica's complexion.

It's the perfect outfit for a luncheon and a walk down the red carpet!

Christian Louboutin pumps, silky waves, and a candy pink lip completed her look.

Awesome from head to toe!

[Image via Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.]

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Hansel & Gretel Take Down Movie 43…And All The Other Box Office Competition!

hansel-gretel-witch-hunters-tops-weekend-box-office

As far as the weekend box office numbers are concerned, we guess it was a case of the lesser of two evils!

WELL…maybe not evil! But DEFINITELY the lesser of two SUPREMELY shiteous movies!

While Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters was reportedly described as the "the longest 90 minutes you [will] ever spend in a theater," it still managed to make the most money across the United States by garnering the majority of ticket sales from Friday-Sunday and ultimately made around $19 million!

That's right, more folks sat through THAT then Silver Linings Playbook, Zero Dark Thirty AND Django Unchained!

Thankfully, however, the same CANNOT be said for Movie 43 and the hole in hell out of which it crawled, because even with its plethora of A-list talent that we won't further embarrass by naming here, a majority of movie-goers were smart enough to stay FAR away…resulting in a cumulative $5 million and movie reviews that refer to it as LITERALLY the worst movie ever!

OUCH!

But hey! You can find out where Jennifer Lopez's latest Parker fits in among all of thisAFTER THE JUMP!!!

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