Miranda Lambert's No Longer Alone Following Her Split From Blake Shelton -- She's Now The Proud Mom Of A Kitten!
Nothing says getting over a breakup like adopting a pet. Right??
[Image via Miranda Lambert/Instagram.]
Make room, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele!
T-Rex coming through! And he's bringing his little pal, Velociraptor, too!
In case you're completely over whips, paddles, and Red Rooms of Pain, we have the perfect alternative for you, and it includes DINOSAURS. We'd like to imagine it's just Jurassic Park fan fic involving a lot of interesting sex positions with Jeff Goldblum, but alas, it's actual real erotica involving the extinct creators…
A short erotica story, named Taken By The T-Rex, by co-authors Christie Sims and Alara Branwen, have been taking the "monster sex" section of erotica by storm. (And yes, that's a real thing!)
And, in case you're not convinced yet, just look at some of the very positive reviews on Amazon! It's like garden feast for a Brachiosaurus! You know, cuz they're herbivores, and all.
"It is very uncommon to find accurate depictions of dinosaur on woman sex. If, like me, you have found it increasingly difficult to satisfy your need to recount old times, then this literary masterpiece is for you. No other author has truly been able to both arouse and entice my intense desire to mate with a T-Rex as accurately and successfully as Christie Sims. I would not be surprised if this book outsells the Bible and brings about a new age of literary enlightenment."
Wait, did the reviewer just say that Taken By The T-Rex will outsell the Bible?!? Guess it has nothing to do with the fact that these books come with a warning!
Warning: This is a tale of beast sex. This story was written to unlock your darkest fantasies and innermost desires. It is not for the faint of heart and is not your mother's erotica. All of the sexual descriptions found in this book are very explicit in nature. It's not suitable for someone under 18 years of age. Read at your own risk.
Can't a Stegosaurus take a girl out for a nice (vegan) steak dinner beforehand though???
Then, maybe mom might approve!
Check out additional titles from the dino-rotica section (below)!
[Image via Christie Sims/Alara Branwen.]