Well this just burst a magical Thanksgiving fantasy we had.
One of the best parts of Thanksgiving is when the President pardons two turkeys from having to be eaten.
Sure, when President Obama waves his magic hand, the turkeys are no longer on death row. Heck, they even move to George Washington's historic home of Mount Vernon.
But after that? They don't make it very long.
The problem is
Here we go with another one of America's craziest traditions!
That's right, it's the real life America's Hunger Games!!
The White House wants U to choose which turkey will be pardoned on Thanksgiving day, which is terrifying because does this mean that Obama goes out in the back yard and kills the losing turkey?? Talk about another downfall of Obamacare!
Two turkeys, Caramel and Popcorn, are both fighting for their lives and a Presidential pardon!
Not only does each bird have a baseball card style list of stats, which you can see (below), you can even
GQ is slinging shade faster than a chimp slings poop and believe us when we tell you everyone is ending up covered in s**t!
The gentlemen's mag just published its list of the 25 Least Influential People of 2013 and you won't likely believe which names made the cut!!!
Well, sure, Paula Deen & Anthony Weiner aren't shocking additions to the list, but Justin Bieber? Miley Cyrus?!? President Barack Obama?!
Color us STUNNED!!!
Speaking of folks who were unfairly royally roasted, we cannot believe they named Prince George!!! What did that cutey patootey king-in-waiting ever do to anyone!?
winner loser, by the way, was former NBAer Dennis Rodman who toured North Korea earlier this year!
Get GQ's complete list…AFTER THE JUMP!!!
Mr. President! You do realize married men shouldn't give jewelry to anyone beside their spouses and mothers, right? LOLz, JK!
When President Barack Obama placed the Medal of Freedom around Oprah Winfrey's uber-lovely neck on Wednesday afternoon our hearts simply swelled up with joy!
We bet Kanye West, Chicago's third biggest celebrity, watched the ceremony on TV from his diamond-encrusted throne and thought:
"Yo, Oprah, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but _______________________________________."
[Image via AP Images.]
What's the most awkward thing that could happen after Kanye West's diss and veiled threat against President Barack Obama?
Well, besides the Secret Service snatching Yeezus up in the middle of a concert anyway!
How about Kim Kardashian and First Lady Michelle Obama running into each other in public the next day??
Well, it almost happened!
According to an eyewitness, both famous ladies were having lunch at the SAME NYC hotspot at the same time! We're guessing Kim did NOT want to face Michelle, because she kept as low profile as she's ever kept! The witness said:
It's not exactly a secret that President Barack Obama is a huge fan of basketball! But not everyone knows that his wifey Michelle Obama's brother Craig Robinson is the head coach of the Oregon State University basketball team!
So when the Beavers came to town to take on the Maryland Terrapins, the first family decided to
Are two of America's favorite Chicagoans feuding? That s**t cray!
Kanye West took his unique world perspective to drive time radio in Philly this morning, serving up a few
fantastic rant-astic sound bites for all of 107.9 FM's lovely listeners!
What was the topic du jour? President Barack Obama!
More specifically, that time our Commander-in-Chief apparently called Yeezy a "jackass"!!
The Harvard speaker didn't appreciate that at all! He said: