Balloon Boy’s Starting A Band


We don’t know if we should be petrified or giddy about this news, so for the time being, we’re just going to laugh!

Sources are reporting that the infamous Balloon Boy and his brothers are forming their own boy band. Falcon, who is seven, would lead the group, with his two brothers Bradford and Ryo, dutifully by his side.

Gee, wonder where this idea came from? It couldn’t have been from his attention-craving, disturbingly pathological lying father Richard Heene, who may also perform with the boys as a backup musician…could it?

Of course it could! Richard is looking to the future, in more ways than one!

The news that the boys could start getting musical comes from a family friend and musician Smokey Miles. Smokey says he’s talked to the boys and thinks they could really be a success. He goes on to explain:

“Richard himself plays harmonica, and his wife is a good guitar player too. They are encouraging their boys with the band but they have not come up with a name yet. They wanted to call themselves The Balloon Boy Band, but for legal reasons, this would not be permitted, so other names like The Bear Scratch Band are being talked about as well…he believes that his sons’ band can become successful and that the Bear Scratchers will also sell really well too.”

Oh yeah, the Bear Scratchers. That’s Richie’s other business venture, when he isn’t plotting ways to exploit his children. Smokey says that he started to manufacture $20.00 Bear Scratch posts in his house and so far, he’s managed to sell almost 100 posts! Simply incredible, huh?!

But back to the boy band. With the money Richie has gotten from his bear stick things, he’s moved the family to Tampa, FL, the birthing place of bands like The Backstreet Boys and NSync.

Coincidence? Not on your life!

We don’t think the Jonas Brothers have much to worry about, though. We don’t think Disney or Nickelodeon are looking to add another obnoxious, money-hungry, lunatic father to their payroll!

Besides, isn’t this guy suppose to be in jail for duping the entire world into thinking he was a terrible father by letting his son fly off in a balloon, rather than knowing he was a terrible father for letting everyone think his son flew off in a balloon?

Dec 7, 2010 5:30pm PDT

More Like This